The John Hughes Club

Chapter Sixty

As soon as we're out of the house, as soon as our feet touch the ground of the path, Chas tugs back on my hand, refusing to take another step until he says what he absolutely must, "I'm so sorry, Mindy. I'm so sorry I've done this to you...to us!"

Tilting my head, it tilts with a feeble smile coming to the lips that don't really feel like smiling at all. "This isn't your fault, Chas. We created this problem, together."

With nerves in almost every part of him, Chas just reaches out for me, desperate to bring me against more of his apology that's grumbling around in his chest, "I can't believe any of this! Every time I keep reminding myself that this really is happening, it overwhelms me," he admits, panic behind all that he needs to let out.

"I know. I feel exactly the same," I despondently confess, feeling my emotions beginning to surface all over again. "Can we please just walk? I need to get away from here for a bit. I can't think, let alone talk while we're still here." Pulling from out of Chas's hold, I glimpse at the front door of mum's house, so glad that I'm now on this side of it.

"Yeah, let's walk," Chas agrees, needing the comfort of my hand back within his.

In comfortable silence, we begin walking around the streets of Minehead, ignoring the bitterness of this cold day, for nothing is more biting than the predicament we have found ourselves in. The quietness and the uncertainty of us, is far better than the soup of emotions back at the house. There, I felt like I was drowning in dismay, anger, fatigue, frustration, sorrow and confusion. I am still trying to fathom out what's happening, but feel too drained and withdrawn to even know where to begin. The only thing I felt in control of, was getting myself and Chas away from that house and its suffocating atmosphere.

"Shall we go to the beach before going to your workshop?" I ask him, wanting us both to be somewhere that reminds us of the teenagers we were before this mess landed in our laps.

"Okay," Chas quietly replies, his features wearing so much strain. "Despite everything, how are you feeling? What did they say at the hospital about you fainting?" he worriedly asks me, still being the caring soul he always is.

"I'm feeling a little better now that we're out of the house, and the nurse said that fainting is apparently very common in early pregnancy, so it's nothing to be overly concerned about." Giving Chas a warm side glance, it seems insane to be having a conversation with him about me being pregnant. Acknowledging the insanity of it all, I gently squeeze his fingers, wanting him to acknowledge it as well. "This really is crazy, isn't it? How are you feeling?" I softly now ask him back, wanting Chas to know that his worry for me is equally something that I feel for him.

Smiling only a little, Chas lowers his chin, like it's there to simply smile at something that really shouldn't be smiled about. "Is it wrong that I don't know how to feel?" comes his subdued honesty.

"No, it isn't. I think it's perfectly acceptable to not know how to feel." Understanding Chas completely, I look straight ahead, longing to be the us who has always loved spending time together on the beach—come rain or shine, it's our happy place.

Rubbing his thumb against my hand, Chas tenderly intrudes on my yearning to be by the sea. "Anyway, it's now official...your mum 100% hates me."

Turning my head, then my body, I can't take a single step more until I have answered him, "She doesn't hate you, Chas, she's just being my mum." As hysterical as my mum was, it's hardly surprising that she's reacted in the way that she has. I think she, my dad, and Rob, are all dealing with a lot of emotions caused by the discovery of this pregnancy. They say there's five stages of grief, maybe it's the same for shell shocking news? "Just like we need time for this to all sink in, our parents do too," I quietly add, not wanting this moment to be the one where I fall apart.