Mental Health Stories

Exhausted

It's hard, isn't it?

To even get up in the morning because you're so tired. I know you didn't sleep enough last night. I know you were up late working and when you finally tried to sleep, you got anxious. I know you woke up at 4 AM crying because you had a nightmare and you were too scared to sleep again after it.

They think it's easy, don't they?

To focus in class when you're constantly falling asleep or anxiety overwhelms you and you feel trapped in the classroom. I know you barely manage to get assignments done or pass the exams because you feel so stressed and overwhelmed and unmotivated during the day. I know at night it's hardly any better.

You feel alone, don't you?

Crying into the morning and wishing someone was there to hold you and wipe away your tears. Like no one can really help or take away these feelings even if they want to. You feel trapped in your own head and as if you're living in hell. Some days you wish you couldn't feel anything at all.

You're trying, aren't you?

Pushing yourself to get out of bed in the morning and go to class. Trying to understand the material and not to push people away. You want to let people help, but it's hard. You think they won't understand or they'll leave or get tired of this.

There are days when you can't, right?

I know there are some days when you submit an assignment late or you have to miss class. I know you push her away sometimes because this gets scary. I know you shut the world out as if that will help.

It doesn't.

I know there are nights when you can't stop crying and you have to text her. I know sometimes seeing her face and hearing her voice are the only things that calm you down. I know you can't sleep without her there most nights.

It's okay.

You're exhausted.

But I'm proud of you.

AN: I wanted to write this to myself as a reminder.

And to everyone reading this: never give up.

And to the people in my life who have always been here and helped me: thank you. I couldn't do this without you. <3