Mental Health Stories

Happy

I feel happy for the first time in a while.

It's been so dark and loud in my head lately.

But you've stayed.

I left you a couple days ago but you still followed me and you asked why I hated you.

That broke my heart.

I never realised how much it hurts others when I leave.

And you mean more to me than anyone ever has.

I made you think I hated you, when the truth is far off.

I love you and that's why I push you away.

I don't want to worry or bother you.

I think that eventually you won't care anymore.

You weren't even angry with me.

You were sad.

You were hurt that I left without even saying goodbye.

And somehow that was worse than you being upset and angry with me.

I cried that night I left you and it felt like I was dying.

I didn't know it would have felt the same for you if I left.

"Why do you hate me?" you had asked sadly.

You sounded as if you were nothing and had never been anything to me at all.

It made me want to stay and hold you and tell you that it was my head and it wasn't me when I left.

So I did.

And now it's better because I saw how much you care about me.

Hopefully you find it in your heart to forgive me.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

I wasn't thinking at all in fact.

I was just doing.

You are so good to me.

You remind me to slow down and rest.

That I need to take a break to eat.

When I can't sleep, you come and stay.

Your presence is a soft blanket of love surrounding me, lulling me to sleep and keeping the nightmares away.

You chase after me when I leave, even if I hurt you.

I want to be better for you because that's what you deserve.

You treat me like I'm the only person in the world—or at least the only one that matters to you.

I want to do the same for you.

I want to stay.

I'm tired of my head ruling my life.

I think it's time for my heart to lead instead.

AN: To anyone out there who struggles in any way: let others help. Don't be afraid to stay—or if you are afraid, stay anyway. Some people truly care and want to stay. And it is the absolute worst feeling in the world when your person asks why you hate them.