I roll down the windows to feel the wind whip through the car as the speedometer ticks higher and higher.
70.
80.
It still isn't fast enough.
I need to be fast enough to outrun the thoughts.
Fast enough to leave her behind.
She'll be okay.
My hands tremble slightly on the steering wheel.
She doesn't need me.
It's okay.
85.
Driving is the one thing that makes me feel alive.
I can go fast enough to leave everything and everyone behind.
But sometimes driving isn't fast enough.
My mind thinks these awful thoughts.
And they don't stop.
I do reckless things.
I say hurtful things.
My hands tighten on the wheel and I hear her voice from earlier.
"I don't understand why you always push me away. If being alone is what you want, why are you still here?"
I shake my head to clear her voice from my head.
90.
Maybe today is the day.
It's like there's a fire burning in my head.
It won't stop.
It's getting worse.
Maybe she could help me. . .
No.
I struggle to blink back tears.
I think today is the day.
95.
I hear police sirens coming up behind me.
Time to make a decision.
I close my eyes for a second.
I love you.
So much.
I open my eyes and press the pedal harder.
100.
105.
It wasn't your fault.
Maybe not every fire can be put out.
I turn the car off the highway and hurtle towards the abandoned building across the exit.
I close my eyes, letting the fire in my mind consume me.
AN: It's an awful feeling when your thoughts seem to consume you. And it doesn't matter how much people try to help you because you feel stuck. You feel alone. You feel like your head is exploding and so you do anything to make it stop.
YOU ARE READING
Mental Health Stories
RandomIf you're curious about what it's like to have a mental illness or you can relate to having one/or more then you've found the right place. This book has little quotes, short stories, and similar about mental illnesses. Cover by @314Kelvin
