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Chapter 16

Everything I need I get from you

– One Direction, I Want To Write You A Song

. . . .

Annie stares at me as I sit on my bed back in the hotel room. It's 10:30 at night, and the party is still going on downstairs, but she decided to come back early to take a shower. "That's it then?"

"Of course not. I just told him that so he'd shut up about everything. It just doesn't make sense to transfer schools this late into the year to live with my father. I can just see him on the weekends," I inform her. "Harry kept saying all this bullshit that he misses me. He expects me to just forgive him, but he can just forget about it."

"He still misses you?" she questions, dragging a wide-tooth comb through her pale, damp hair.

"Yeah. I guess he just did it out of guilt. Then he says he misses me. I just don't know what to think. It's been four months. If he does care, why didn't he try talking to me sooner?"

"I understand why he would break it off with you. He has a lot on the line – his job, his humility, his daughter, his life in general. All you would lose is your reputation, and you can bounce back from that. I get why he did it, but I also understand why you're so hurt. You believe that he used you for sex. You're in a tough situation."

"What do you think I should do?" I ask her.

"In my opinion, I don't really think he's lying about this. I'm not saying you should go back to him, but you should really think through everything he said," she avers while pulling back one of the dresser drawers, delicately picking up her pink shirt.

Should I let her words alter the view I have of this man? Is everything he said true? Did he do all of this to also protect me? If I go back there and forgive him, everything will be like it never changed. But what if I actually do go back, forgive him, then, later on, get crushed when I find out that everything was a complete lie? Is it really worth the heartache and emotions that will bubble to the surface if it actually turns out to be all lies?

Also, he seemed pretty compassionate towards everything that happened back in his room. Before I stormed out of the room, I caught a quick glance at his face after I mentioned staying with my dad. He looked devastated. At first, I was a little baffled at the expression painted over his face, but my feet didn't stop to take a closer observation. They wouldn't stop; they couldn't. They kept walking until I was behind the closed door of my hotel room.

Once in there, I slid down the cool wood till my head met my kneecaps. No tears came out. I haven't cried since the first or second month after everything that happened; I was left drained since then. I sat there for a bit until I finally had the physical strength to drag myself over to my bed. I had only gotten at least ten minutes of sleep before Annie barged in and jumped on me. 

After she asked me what was making me bummed, I spilled out what Harry said to me – which led to Annie completely altering my opinion of him.

Maybe if I can get a little more information from him I can clearly understand what was going on inside of him.

"I'll be back later," I inform her, pulling open the door and shutting it behind me without a response.

Walking down the hall seemed like it was never-ending. I felt as if the more I walked the farther the room was. I'd never make it to my destination at this rate, so I speed up more and before I know it, I'm standing in front of the door.

Room 403.

I contemplate whether or not I should knock. If I do, I'll be ending this whole era of me absolutely hating him with everything I have in me, and if I don't, it'll always be like this. I would end up always having a dark spot in my heart for him, and I don't have it in me to hold grudges. Even for him. Although it killed every cell that my body is made up of, seeing him so weak and vulnerable just struck my nerves. I had aches in my heart thinking about everything, and if I could just push everything into the back of my mind, I would.

Before my mind can take any sharp turns, I lift my left hand up and tap harshly against the sleek wood with my knuckles.

The door swings open mere seconds later sending a small wind to push against his hair, making it poof upwards. He's standing before me a black jumper over his upper half with gray sweatpants on the bottom. He looks absolutely bewitching,  yet so dreary looking. It makes my heart burst at this emotional wreck in front of me.

"Vio-"

Without letting him finish what he was saying, I push my way into his room. When I know we're concealed from the rest of the world, I pull him against me by the shoulders. Wrapping my legs around his torso and arms securely around his neck, I attach my lips to his letting them move to a glorious rhythm. This was absolutely risky on both of our parts; mine being that I just started making out with my teacher and his being that he was kissing back. He stumbles backward then gently sits on the edge of the bed.

He pulls back from the kiss, me straddling his lap. His hands slip down to my waist, holding my hips over my crewneck sweatshirt.

"Why'd you come back? I thought you still wanted to cut my head off," he questions softly – almost as if he were to ask me any louder that I'd get pissed at him and leave.

"I thought it over, and I may or may not be making a stupid decision that will screw me over in the future, but I forgive you."

"Oh, my God, Vi. I-"

I cut him off by raising my hand in the air. "I'm not finished. What you did was stupid. Especially since we had sex just before then. We could have just talked it out instead of you just breaking it off without an in-depth conversation about what all happened. That pissed me off, but I decided to forgive you. If you even do something remotely similar to that, I'll never talk to you again. Do I make myself understood?"

"Yes. I understand that. I do regret how we–I handled everything. I still hate myself for doing that to you. I'm so sorry, Violet." He kisses the skin just below my earlobe and lingers for a few seconds. "Vi?"

"Yeah?" I do what he was doing to me, but this time on the side of his neck.

"You're not really going to live with your dad, right?" Trepidation coats each syllable that leaves his lips and he looks at me with his big, beautiful eyes.

"No, I'm not. Besides, he has his own family now," I mumble quietly, my fingers now becoming my amusement in this conversation about my dad's new beloved family.

"I heard him say something about Bonnie and the kids? Is that his new girlfriend and kids or something?"

"Wife, actually. It's almost like he completely forgot about my mum. He mentioned her, but didn't even react in the slightest at the thought of her death."

"Maybe he just didn't want to think about it."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," I mumble into the soft skin of his chest.

"Okay," I'm interrupted by a notification from my phone. I grab it, reading Annie's name lit up on the screen. "Hold on."

"Who is it?" he asks.

"Just Annie asking me when I'll be back." I type back explaining that I'd be a bit longer and that I have my key card.

"Are you going to leave now?" he asks with a shimmer of loss in his eyes.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Don't leave." 

He pulls my body into him, his head burrowed into my neck, placing small kisses on the skin. A short sigh escapes his smooth lips and throughout him holding me, I'm left to wonder if I made the right choice or if I just set myself up to be bitten by yet another trap.

. . . .

I hope you all liked the chapter! 

– Re-uploaded February 1, 2021