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Chapter 147

Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take
One more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up

— Bring Me the Horizon, Drown

. . . .

Violet's POV

Friendships ending are never easy for anyone. It's heartbreaking to go through and to watch. You spend years building up such a phenomenal relationship with someone. You know all their secrets and experiences, and they know yours. When a friendship ends, everything vanishes. The memories remain there, but the feelings toward the friend have shifted into an ugly perspective.

Harry and Dr. Spencer are no different. They've been best friends for years. They've built up fond memories. Harry was in Spencer's wedding as the best man, and Spencer was there at the hospital when Lilly was born, and vice versa for Spencer's kids. They've been through every milestone together, and the ending of their friendship is just one of the last.

Spencer didn't know that I'm Harry's girlfriend, mainly because Harry keeps his life private from the internet, and I wasn't there at the time of Spencer joining Harry's birthday. Despite that, however, he did continually lie about his lack of knowing me.

I'm no different, either. I kept this a secret from Harry for a week. Unlike Spencer, who was going to keep it hidden under the rug for as long as humanly possible, I was waiting to tell Harry for his benefit as well as mine. I was going to be honest with him, but the timing just never seemed to work in my favor. I could have called him the minute after I stormed out of that classroom, but I was too shocked to call him and freak him out over the phone.

What good could have come from calling while we're three hours apart from one another? Sure, he could have consoled me over the phone, but I needed him there at that exact minute. He has other priorities, and I have to respect that. I can't expect him to drive all the way to Oxford at the drop of a hat.

Instead, I chose to handle it on my own, and now I know how well that turned out. Whether I told him the day I saw him or waited to have it explode everywhere like what really happened, he's still heartbroken, no less. He would've found out that the professor was his friend anyway.

He's been sitting on the edge of the bed for the last three or more minutes with his head in his hands and with the room dead silent. I hear Spencer's footsteps leaving and the front door slamming shut a few seconds later. I leave Harry for a moment to slip out of the room to lock the front door and ensure that his car leaves, which it does.

When I walk back into the bedroom, Lilly's standing beside her dad's leg with his phone in her little hand. She has her robe wrapped around her petite body and her long hair dripping down her back.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

With his head down, he replies to her, "Nothing, Lilly. I want you in bed in five minutes. Get dressed, brush your teeth, and get in bed. You're not staying up late tonight."

"Why can't you tell me?" She questions.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please, go get ready for bed."

"Daddy, why won't—"

"Lilly, now."

She angrily puffs out air then stomps out of the room. She doesn't know the extent of what's going on and that's just because of her age. It's not her fault this happened, but it's too complex to come up with a simplified, PG-rated explanation.

Along with both her and Harry's bad moods and me beginning to tear up, it starts to rain, the wind howling through the trees, and the whistling is audible in the silent room.