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Chapter 110

My fears, my doubts
They're slowly creeping out
And they're intensified
The first drop hits my windowpane
And the emotions start flooding in

--- The xx, Seasons Run

. . . .

After Harry left last night, I felt confused. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to talk to? I don't have a pet. No roommate. No friends to hang out with.

Harry has everyone he knows back home—his parents, friends, and Lilly. He's only losing one person while I've left everyone I know behind. 

However, it's a bit relieving to be leaving my wrong-doings and the people that judged me back home. I have a clean slate here. I have a chance to make an appropriate first impression on every person I meet here without them knowing that my thirty-year-old boyfriend was my previous English teacher. I don't have to hear "You're Violet? The girl that dated her teacher?"

To say a weight has been shifted off my shoulders is an understatement.

For the first time in months, I had slept in a bed by myself without Harry. No cuddling or spooning. No kissing before we got to bed and when we wake up. No Lilly to sneak into our room in the middle of the night or early the next morning. And, as much it pissed me off, I do slightly miss Harry obnoxiously waking me up every morning. From physically pulling me out of bed or him shining his phone flashlight in my eyes were things I took for granted, oddly enough. I'd give anything to have that back right now.

How am I supposed to make it this long without seeing him again?

Nevertheless, today's the day of his father's will reading. He texted me as he was heading out the door, and I could tell he was anxious to get this over with. I didn't see him or hear him, but I know him, and I know he's terrified. This all happened three hours ago, and now I'm impatiently waiting for his name to pop up on my phone as I'm sitting at my dining room table searching for jobs.

As for the job search, I've found jobs like my previous one as well as ones where I'm a simple receptionist. To be completely honest, I'm just looking for one that's slightly interesting and pays well enough that I can afford to live in this beautiful apartment. My dad has already told me that he will help to pay for the apartment if I need him to, but I don't want everyone to pay for my things instead of me working for it myself. I've already been labeled as a whore; I don't need 'freeloader' added to that list.

As I'm looking at the description of one of the jobs, my phone goes off with Harry's picture on the screen, and when I click the green circle, his handsome face pops up again but in live form.

"Hey, Vi," he says. The FaceTime goes fuzzy before it restores itself, and I can clearly see him sitting at his desk in his office at home. "How's your morning been?"

"Who cares about me? What happened with the will?" I'm biting my bottom lip in angst as he's held off on immediately telling me about his day.

"Well, uh, people that I had no idea existed were there. He was leaving shit for some of his wife's kids, and then they brought up some motorcycle he's had for years, and he left it to me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with a motorcycle? I'll never use it, which goes to show how much he really tried to know me. I've never once expressed my interest in driving that thing. Anyway, for the rest of the time, I was contemplating why he would give me that thing, and then it concluded with the money aspect of it. He...left it all to me and Gem."

He looks baffled. I know that he's wondering why his father—who has never had a close-knit relationship with Harry—would leave half of everything he has to him.