Now All That's Left is Dust

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

Love

It was unexpected. Even now, I still have a hard time believing that Alicia is pregnant. I'm very happy with the idea but at the same time terrified. Terrified and doubting my worth as a father. The truth was, even until now, I am still adjusting myself to Crayon and Hunter. Nahihirapan pa rin ako minsan sa paglugar sa sarili ko.

It could be because I'm trying too hard to be the perfect father for them. Or it could be a fear of disappointing them again. I don't know. It's challenging... It's difficult because there is no one-size-fits-all way to become one. Mahirap dahil walang perpektong ama at ngayon na may panibagong darating na biyaya, kinakabahan ako.

But Alicia seemed to be very confident. Mukhang nakalimutan niya yata ang ginawa kong pag-aabandona sa kanila noon dahil wala man lang bakas ng takot at paghihinayang sa magandang mukha na kanina ko pa tinititigan habang abala ito sa paglilibot sa loob ng kwarto niya. It looked like that she was looking for something. Nahihilo na ako kasusunod ng tingin.

"Hon, what are you looking for?" I asked, trying to catch her busy attention.

Glad this time she listened. Huminto ito sa pagpaparoon at parito niya at tumingin sa akin. Her lovely face is completely clueless. Alam kong hindi narinig ang tanong ko.

"Hm?" she asked, batting her naturally thick, long eyelashes. "Ano?"

"Anong hinahanap mo?" tanong ko pabalik dahil hilong-hilo na ako sa kapapanuod sa kanya.

"Eye glasses ko. May titignan ako sa resibo na pinamili namin ni Mommy kanina. Nakita mo ba?"

"It's up there... in your head."

Dahan-dahan niyang inangat ang kamay patungo sa ulo niya. Nang makapa ang eye glasses na hinahanap, natawa ito ng malakas. Alicia's laugh is always so hard to resist, I can't stop myself from laughing with her.

"Hala ka. Grabe! Ang tanda mo na, Nathaniel!" she said, laughing before turning her back.

Matagal ko siyang pinagmasdan habang nag-iisip ng maraming bagay. Iniisip ko kung pano pakikiusapan sa Mommy sa gusto kong mangyari. Wala pa man, naririnig ko ang boses ni Mommy sa utak ko.

Alicia and I are getting older, magtatatlo na ang anak namin pero wala pa rin kaming lebel. Mas mauuna pa yatang makasal sina Hunter at Crayon sa amin nito.

Sighing, I walked closer to Alicia. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her in the nape gently. Tumigil siya sa ginagawa niya at nakangiting lumingon sa akin.

"Anong pain natin, sir?"

"Nothing."

She wiggled her brow. "Sure ka?"

"Hm? Honestly, I was thinking of something."

"Alam ko na 'yan. Hindi mo na kailangang sabihin."

I chuckled when I caught her drift. "Aside from thinking of making love with you, I have something else here in my mind."

Her face turned curious. "Ano naman?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Why not?" she quickly replied.

"Then, mag-Bruno Mars tayo?"

She wiggled her brow. "Bruno Mars? Versace on the floor? Hon, I'm wearing Gucci."

"No." Tumawa ako. "Let's runaway to the place where love first found us."

She chuckled. "Tangina. Tatalunin ba natin si Romeo at Juliet nito?"