Why we broke up [Editing]

This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me

And the story of us looks like a tragedy now

But I liked it netter when you were on my side
But I would lay my armor down
If you say you'd rather love than fight

And you won. Frankly. You win it all, new life, new you, no me, just you.

You were like winter skies. So pretty but so cold. Winter skies are so beautiful and you see the reds, the pink, yellow and purple and you look at the sun rising, and you see all the possibilities and you just breathe in the beauty of winter skies. You were like that. You were layers of colours, layers of secrets and layers of lies. Just waiting for someone to see the beauty in your broken soul. Layers of fears and scars waiting for someone to kiss the pain away. Waiting for someone to unravel the mystery you made, a bad mystery compared to successful best-sellers, but still you were a mystery to me at first, you were a fresh start. And at the end, it was you who needed a fresh start. You see, the thing with winter skies is that they do not live up to our expectation. We think they are warm and lovely, but turns out they are cold as fuck and everything but lovely, you know... Reminding me of someone. So like that, winter skies blow away everything we thought they were and leave you in the cold of their reality. Winter skies are different from the rest of the year, those skies are a show all by themselves. They are mesmerizing to the point you forget everything else, and how cold they truly are. And just like winter, you'd disappear just before summer.

As seasons, people change. Our relationship might have been a summer romance after all. That would explain, how in the dead of winter we froze and how we couldn't keep our flames burning. Maybe it had been washed away by the coldness of the winds.
How we couldn't keep each other's heart warm enough with love. And how in snowstorms you broke my heart. Whirlwind of broken pieces of me and torn parts of who you once were. Frozen pieces of humanity and tears falling to the ground, freezing by the time it lands.

To me it felt much more than just a summer romance. And you didn't feel like summer either. You felt like you were there to stay. But once again, you proved me wrong.

Looking back at it, it's true that you won in the end. You gain your new and so "wanted" liberty I never "granted" you. You won the pleasure of making me suffer by the shortest appearance of yours and every time they'd say your name, like you were a kind of hero. Drunk bastard but still hero. And I get it, how they like to talk about you, I get it, because now you have turned into someone they would qualify much more interesting. You gave up your shyness, you gave up the long hair I liked, you gave up on me.

For a long time I was lost without you, how was I going to do when the best part of me was always you. But I was wrong, you know I was in the wrong, because the best part of you was always me. I made you better, better for me. I gave you the push to as caterpillar, you eventually left your cocoon and became a butterfly. But far from a pray you become a predator. And nothing you feared and nothing you loved except yourself and those few bitches you mistaken for love.

Maybe we mistaken the thing we had for love. But I highly doubt that, at some point, it was love. At some point it might even have been true love. You know, in another world, some different multiverse - multi-universe- where the choices we made were different and the things we said were for once the right ones. And the way we loved each other was the right way for both of us to keep our relation alive.

And because of the way you wrecked our relation to a point where you as a person and as a possibility to love again, were a dead end, you - as the person I loved- was much alive in my memory. Perhaps way too alive.

We are looking like we are in some kind of contest, where the first to give in and the first to show some, any, kind of emotions loose. But what is really at stake? What is it in there to loose, there is now nothing, really nothing else to loose, and you, now got nothing else to break.

I always knew I would tell the story of us. But I thought we'd had much more happy chapters, and maybe we would get a happy ending. I just didn't think the story of us would get to a point where it looked like a tragedy. I always knew, well part of me always knew it would eventually get to an end, I just thought I would be the one to end it.

But now I know better. It was never meant to last. Even from the beginning. Because we were too young for that. I mean, who the fuck were we kidding? Even if some make it out of high school, it doesn't mean they last. And it's not all of them.

How could it was ever possible to think about marriage and this kind of stuff. Thinking it would last is enough of a big misconception. But whatever. It could have last. Just if it wasn't us. Just if it wasn't me and you and the way our soul was made of. The way we both turned or the way we parted away. The way you left and never turned back on it. Ever again.

And for a while I thought it would be like the first break up, that you would regret it and ask me to take you back and give you some second-for-the-numerous-time chance. But that's the thing, you see. You never regret it, hell I don't even think you thought about it again, about me. Not even for the slightest moment, even drunken ones.
You never drunk dialed me. You never talked to me again, you never even looked at me again. But you contacted me again.

Two years later. You messaged me. And what for? Make a mess of me, like only you could do.