Why we broke up [Editing]

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard floor

Our story was a lot of things.

At first it was great, kind of destined to happen. We were happy, we were in love and we did not care about our differences. We tried to look the other way about the fact that we had almost nothing in common, except school and friends at this same school. 

Then it was doomed, kind of destined to crash. We were mad at each other, we were out of love and we did not care about the repercussions.

One thing our love wasn't was love at first sight. It wasn't anything at first sight.

Because I can't remember how we actually met and I sure hadn't thought that you'd broke my heart into a million pieces first thing.

Our meeting wasn't spectacular or unforgettable. It wasn't outstanding, perhaps it was nothing at all. Maybe this is why I cannot remember how and where we met, because it wasn't unforgettable. You weren't unforgettable, so I forgot.

But, we had to have met in our only common class, English. Or maybe we had been introduced by Josh, our first common friend.

Also, perhaps it was just a coincidence, almost like destiny calling. Perhaps we were meant to meet. Destined to cross path and then, our lives would have changed forever.

But it clearly wasn't destiny... and that's not how it went, no sparkles, no fireworks, not happy ending.

Josh was your best-friend since kindergarten and I had met him in mathematic class where we instantly hit it off. Nowadays, he claims it's all because of him that I made that much of friends at school. But never did he claimed it was all because of him if we fell in love nor he claimed it was all because of him that you broke my heart.

He was in our English class too, seated right next to you. I was two rows upfront with my friend. One day, I had turned to ask Josh if I could borrow his planner and I asked for yours too, even if I had no idea who you were.

Well, that's not entirely true. When I had first heard about you, you were Callista's boyfriend, but that's another "why she broke up with you" story.

After you gave me your planner, I signed my name in it, with a little heart. And I remember precisely the moment you looked up and asked: "Isn't the heart supposed to be for Josh". Sadly, I do not remember what came after that, nor why you agreed to lend me your things.

But that is my side of the story and as we would know after that, often between us too, there was always more than one side to the story.

Your version of how we met had to do with your back then girlfriend, Callista. She was my friend and ballet partner. She used to talk about you, used to tell us about how good looking you were and how nice you were to her. She used to tell about when you were hanging out, her on your lap, laughing and having a good time. Her friends also thought you were cute together.

Then one day she stopped talking about you.

But before that, I had emailed you, when you were still together. The content of this mail is unknown to me, probably for my own sake. But, still, it was our first contact.

Perhaps it explains why you were willing to lend me your stuff, you were familiar with my spontaneous side. The one usually hidden.

And you were the one to refresh my memory with that odd story and you claimed that's how we had technically met. But that's not romantic at all. Perhaps more than forgetting our meeting but still...

So, your side of the story was weird and mine wasn't even special. It wasn't really a good start for a love story.

Back then, I used to blame it on destiny for the two of us meeting since we had so little in common. I had changed school and ended up at yours. We lived in two different cities, well yours is more like a village, and we were never really on the same page. I still don't understand why we were put on the same path nor can I explain why our eyes met and why, somehow we saw something worth looking for. Worth fighting for, worth loving for.

I hoped it was meant to happen like that. That we'd meet and fall in love. End of the story. We would have stayed in love.

Afterward, I thought maybe it wasn't supposed to happen, we were never supposed to be this important for one another. And it had just happened. There was nothing we could do to change it. And perhaps my vision of it was so tragic, so dramatic, that we were doomed and we were meant to crash.

Still, destiny is a romantic concept and I liked it. I liked thinking about how it was meant to be. How we were meant to meet and meant to fall in love. But perhaps it wasn't a story meant for the two of us.

Truth is, the story starter is this: I had heard about you as someone's boyfriend when you were a sweet and a cute boy, while you had heard about me as some ballet dancer without any filter or sanity (depends on how you see it).

Four years later, we met in person. There were no slow-motions, no fireworks, not even a strange feeling in my stomach. We went at the same school, we were in the same hallways and I had no clue who you were before I befriended Josh.

Again, another version of "how we met" that came after, was during summer and it was a one-sided story (again). The summer before I changed school, I was at my grand-parents' cottage and you were at the one your godmother had rented. You were walking on the beach and I was on a sailing board trying to stay balanced with my friend Aryn. You had seen her and then me. You had asked yourself who I was. You said you knew, at that moment that you could love me one day. And you had gotten your answer in September.

Three months of being in the same room at least twice a week, I sent you a message on February 8th.

That was step one of our story. How it all began, how from that precise moment, it all turned upside down. That was how, a second after pressing sent, I changed forever.

It simply took a French way of saying "Hi".