Why we broke up [Editing]

Pandora's box

I was willing to risk everything for this story if I had even the slightest chance for this story to unbreak my heart.

Writing this was like openimg Pandore's box. Kaleidoscope of memories and whirlwind of emotions. Flood of sadness and storm of nostalgia.
The things I'd do to get over you, though.
I'm just glad it's over.

I've been told it changed people's point of view on love, that it restored their faith in love. To be honest, it's kind of amazing that some people see that love is a great thing in the end even by my book which is about break-ups. But to be fair, they are entirely right, love is something amazing and worth the fight, it is people who are usually disapointing...

And I've been told, it's interesting getting my point of view on this. That it answered their questions and they got to know the things that really happened between us, far from what we let them see. How unperfect we were both together and seperated.

Alice told me she got to see all the pain I felt. Far from what I let her see. How broke I was both with you and apart.

Delena said I was a great actress. That she didn't know our thing had affected me so much. She quoted my story intense. What I felt was indeed intense.

Nathaniel said and I quote "gurl, we need to talk" he wanted to know if I made things up. I said no, I think that this is really how I see things and how I see you. Perhaps I'm wrong, I probably am. But that's the image you left me.

Henry told me about his break up and how it went so nicely even if break up are not nice. It made me think about ours. You know we broke up twice on Facetime.
Henry also asked once if it had pained me to break up with you. But before he even let me answer, he replied himself that he knew how it pained me to love you. That I had told him.

But I didn't remember that. It made me wonder how many people had I told. How many knew about that. How many knew you made a mess of me.
Now it doesn't even make any sense. Because I'm writing it and publishing it online for everyone to know.

Thing is, I don't even remember the day we were back together. As it didn't matter. But I sure as hell can remember the days you broke up with me.

Now that the black box is opened memories keep floating my way. They once were actually bad ones I'd rather forget but now, now they're actually pretty nice. I don't know if it means anything at all. But I think it does yes, I think it means that I'm finally ready and at peace with our history.

People might have told the story of us when it was sweet and truthful but now, they tell it to point how we never talk again.

And I've been asked if we had talked after our breakup and I said no. The only times we talked were not worth mentionning and were always times when I didn't want to talk to you.

I understood that you don't get in love. You don't have love. You fall in love. You have to fall in order to be in love.
And we are not always ready for such a fall. And when we are, sometimes we stumble before we fall and sometimes we jump. But whichever way we chose, we have to fall in love. It doesn't mean we stay in love. 'cause that would imply you had to stay.