Why we broke up [Editing]

Afloat

"There's no smoke without fire.

There's no love without you."

You quote it yourself, you invented it. But, it didn't even rhyme. It didn't made sense either. But I didn't care.

Afloat. By definition, it can be

1. In a floating position or condition

2. On a boat or ship away from the the shore: at sea

3. In circulation; prevailing

4. Awash; flooded

5. Drifting about, moving without guidance

6. Aimlessly drifting

That's what we did best, aimlessly drifting and moving without guidance. We were going nowhere in other words. I think, part of us saw it coming. You know. I saw it coming. I wrote a poem for an assignments about it. It was implied that things were breaking apart between us.

If I translated it, it wouldn't mean the same thing. It wouldn't even rhyme. The poem was separated in two indistinct part. One about how things were fading and the second part on how we could make it. It was called Opposite stars.

"Here we are, fading away

Without someone to catch us

Without something to catch our fall

As to know, where did we left our parachutes"

Meaning, we were going down without anything to catch us. Things would break, collapse and shatter. There was nothing we could do. Our safety net didn't exist anymore. All was left was us. And it wasn't enough.

"Maybe we were born under opposite stars

Maybe we were born under the wrong millennium"

Because in French «contraire» and «millénaire» does rhyme.

But it expressed how I thought nothing was wrong with us. That the universe was to blame.

"Before the storm appears

I can already feel it, nearby"

The storm was us. It was us smashing up apart. It was pending. In some ways, inevitable.

"Cause we're swimming in upheaval

I know us slipping in slow downfall

We're sinking in and escaping from each other

Trying to stay on course"

We were trying too hard. Things didn't wanted to be saved. Maybe parts of us didn't want to save them either. Maybe we thought how it would be so easy to let things collapse.

Taylor Swift was right, "We should not fall in love. We should love, because everything that falls break." At first I thought she was wrong. Not everything breaks, sometimes it bounces. But is it truely better. I should have known better, who am I to condtractict her. She writes better things on relashionship that I won't ever be able to. She sure knew better.

And my favourite song. Hey there Delilah. I still haven't figured out what Delilah stands for. But the lyrics of this song. You agreed with me. This song explained a lot more than everything. Despite how old it was, I loved that song so much. It became my ring tone when I called you on Facetime.

"They've got planes and trains and cars,

I'd walk to you if I had no other way."

You always said that distance sucked. I know you were reffering to the eleven miles that was separating our two houses, those little twenty minutes. But maybe it was bigger than just that. Maybe our mind were distanced. I don't think we ever were completely on the same pages. Maybe at first. But it wasn't long until one of us skipped page. Maybe you moved too fast. You walked away someday. Without even realizing it, perhaps. Your mind drifted away without you being conscious of it.

"If you really love someone, even if there was a million reason to leave, you still look for one other reason to stay." Maybe this quote is completely off tracks. But it wasn't real love. Maybe. Or perhaps it was. Real burning love. That turned to ember. That's what time does. It turns flames to ember. Real love, just did not meant to last. Maybe it was meant, meant to be, meant to last and we just screwed up. Really really screwed up. Like a royal screw up.

Life is no movie. An unsaid quote, because it never was pronounced in (500) days of Summer was "Some people are meant to fall in love together but not to stay together." That one is true.

But Nicholas Sparks, come on. Why would he put those expectations in girls mind. I mean, seriously. Whose love lasts seven years without seeing and talking to each other. Does things really happen like that.

Like, "The Notebook". How much of it is realistic? It can truly happens. Indeed. But...

"So, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. We're gonna have to work hard at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you. Forever. Everyday. You and me. Everyday."

- The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks.

Who claims that. Hopeless romantic, Ryan Reynolds and Nicholas Sparks. Long list.

Movies aren't the only to put expectations high. There's songs. "I only miss you when I'm breathing." That's like, always Jason Derulo. And Love don't die. There's books. Again, thanks to you, Nicholas Sparks or ho, I don't know, John Green.

And sometimes, we truly believe all those forever things. What does forever even means?

Oh, by definition it's

1. without end, everlasting ; eternally.

I see.

You talked to me about forever and love all in the same sentence. Of course it confused all that happened next. How can you mess with those words.

I must admit. We aren't the only one to whom those things happened. Let's say. How many people ever got in a relationship that ended badly?

I'd like to believe that everything we went trough was for something. If things went wrong between us two could be pin pointed on a lot of things. Both coming from you and from me. I could blame it on you and you could blame it on as well. I was far behind perfect too. And we could blame it on everything else in this world. But that'd be a lie. The fault was in us two. And all the wrong things we both did. And all the good things we did not do. All, basically everything.

Somehow, maybe it was meant to collapse. And that's okay too. We are too young to be stuck with things like this. Great love happens more than once, I believe.

It sure teach some things. But love is never easy.

And sometimes, we get bored or annoyed or tired of things. So we just break up with them. So are relationship. That's not just why you broke up with me. But yes, maybe it occurred to me that it was one of the many reasons. There were too many, some we didn't even know. Some we weren't even able to put into words.

So that was us. Afloat in our love. We would slowly sink in and hit the bottom at last.

Us, afloat, away from the shore. Waiting for our love to Titanic itself.