Why we broke up [Editing]

Guess this means you're sorry You're standing at my door

Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

Then I hung up.

What else could I do? It was like my whole world was falling to pieces.

So I hung up and cried, basically.

But you, you did something strange.

You called back. You called me back several times, I declined every calls.

But you wouldn't stop and I found it freaking annoying when all I was trying to do was cry and go with it. But you wouldn't stop calling, so naturally I picked up.

And I don't know which one of the two of us was the most messed up. Perhaps it was both of us. Me, crying like hell and you feeling bad and saying stuff I don't remember, except for I am sorry and it was a mistake, I don't want to break up with you.

Like, what the fuck, who does that, breaking up by accident?

I don't quite remember that night to be honest. It's a blur in my head after you breaking up with me. That's all I can perfectly recall.

I think, we talked a little bit but I'm pretty sure I cried for most part of the night when I was not asleep.

I didn't go back with you when you asked for it. Because I thought it was too early. You did break my heart, I could not erase it however hard I tried.

It just didn't work like this.

It was too messed up to work like that.

It's stupid but I recall those times as when you grew your hair. They became pretty long and at last it was kind of freaking annoying seeing you pulling them back every minutes or so. Or maybe it was just the anger towards you.

So we didn't talk after that.

Until the next day, you messaged me on Facebook and tried to talk to me and I respond rudely, I simply could not stand talking to you, because I cried when you said it was weird not talking for the entire day.

We talked for mostly all evening but it got confused when you began to claim things like; You were not the best girlfriend I ever had.

Not only it was mean, it was also completely wrong. Both of us knew it when you said it. I mean, the only girlfriend you got before me was in primary and lasted one week roughly. And ended because she dumped you for two major things you said.

First one was about her friend. You said she was kind of big.

And second was that you thought the place where her dad was working was complete shit.

Sure it was stupid of you saying that but one week and two mean things does not compare to six months and a lot of crap from you.

You also claimed that I was talking harshly to you and you were tired of it.

It's kind of understandable, I agree.

But then again, it started for one reason. You made me cry. When I was a person who ever hardly cried.

Because it was like you broke something that night.

The most stupid thing of all that was your reason for making me cry.

Just because you were mad at me. More than mad, you were completely upset and I couldn't find what I had done to make you so upset and you would not confess at all.

It turned out that you were mad because of some stupid list in stupid Religion course. Because I did not put the same thing on top of my list. Which was about values.

You were truely upset about the fact that I did not put family or love or marriage, I don't remember, I think it was family, on top.

It had gotten to you in a way I never imagined it would.

It was some kind of defense, I was rude because I did not want that to happen ever again.

But that's not what happened, what happened was that you made me cry several times after that.

Including of course the day you broke up with me and was stupid enough to say you didn't want to.

You would do that a lot of times, saying stuff to hurt me, even though it could have been true then saying you did not think it.

You can not say things without thinking them, dude.

But whatever, all those things never changed the fact that we were separated and both disliked it.

I don't know if I can call pride the part of me that thought it was utterly wrong to get back to you just like that. Maybe it was my brain finally turning on, but I did what I thought was the right thing.

I did not fall for it.

At least at first.