Why we broke up [Editing]

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things didn't you flash you green eyes at me

Didn't you call my fears with the cheshire cat's smile
Didn't it all seem new and exciting
I felt your arms twisting around me
It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind

We found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And we pretended it could last forever
And life was never worse but never better

I reach for you
But you were gone
I knew I had to go back home
You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had
And in the end in wonderland we both went mad

We never got to the point of screaming. You never screamed at me.

You did scream though, at your brother, so loud it scared me. I was scared you'd be that angry at me, to the point you would yell at me. Because if you were capable of yelling after your brother, you were capable of yelling after everyone.

Screaming, crying, perfect storm

But crying, I did my job pretty well, considering the fact that I'd cry every night.

It all went down to one and only something or someone. You.

And no matter how I acted like everything was good. It wasn't. Clearly.

Rose garden filled with thorns.

Speculations and misconception. Obviously something was wrong.

It was perhaps you or maybe me. Or the reaction of the both of us mixed together.

Perhaps something we don't and won't even know.

But alas, I was still holding on when I should have let go. I was still holding on to you when I should have let you go. But back then, you were better than the fights and the tears. You were worth the high even if it meant a greater fall. You were worth the fight even if it meant a bigger pain.

And eight months through, it seemed to me, either our story was unfinished or meant to last. At least, that's what I thought.

But I felt like giving up too. But I was just like, "no, you can't do that to him" "You can fix it, fix him". "You can make it work."

I heard everything you said, but I couldn't make a sound. You told me that you need me then you go and cut me down.You told me you were sorry over and over, as if the word would heel the wound. And it's too late to apologize, and even before, you shouldn't have apologized, you shouldn't have made those decisions and then act like there were no consequences. The truth, was, that I took another chance with you, took another fall and ended the one getting shot. And I loved you with a fire red and you let it turn blue.And you said sorry like an angel, heaven let me think was you.

But then, what did it meant, if everything was one sided. Because, apparently, you didn't feel the same as I. I don't know where your mind was.

And now, I realise. It was toxic as a relationship. Not only the taste on your lips but the relationship itself was toxic. Filled with poison and through my veins, then you were part of me. There was me and you, holding on after all.

We were built to fall apart then fall back together. And I thought, "Oh, maybe things aren't really falling apart, they may be actually falling into places."

And there was nothing like us, nothing like you and me together. Nothing better, and nothing worse.

But like season, people change. And one day you changed your mind. I don't know if one day you woke up and decided another way.

I thought it was best if we both stayed.

But honestly, what for?

Our love went past its expiration date, or wasn't meant to hold on. And like waves, we tried to get a grip on the shore, but kept being pulled away by the flow.

Where did that left us. We were no better off than with each other.

And I didn't want to live that way, breathing in to every words you said.

It was what you wanted, you ended it.

You were all I wanted, but not like that.

Not like that.