Don't Let It Break Your Heart

12: Just A State of Mind

        "You should tell me I'm beautiful, it feeds my ego," Harry smirked as he tried on yet another pair of skinny jeans, these were a size 26 color black with the pretty white sequins on down the thigh. 

Harry smirked as Louis rolled his eyes playfully, "If you were ugly I would tell you H, but you're not." Louis can't help the groan that escapes his lips as he got an outright view of Harry's bum. Louis shy as he was, turned away suddenly to avoid completely embarrassing himself. 

Strolling over, Harry let out a little hum, his eyes wandering down Louis's body before he spoke. "What was that, Louis?" Are you checking me out or something?"

Louis nodded slowly and bit his lower lip. He didn't wholeheartedly like to express himself, but Harry read him like a book. "That's cute." He smirked, before pulling him into the dressing room. "You can have me if you can get me out of these skinny jeans."

Shaking his head, Louis slowly began to walk back to Harry's room, unsure of what he may find but was hoping for the best. Anne wasn't in the room, of what he could see as he slowly made his way to Harry's bed. Something wasn't right, and he knew it right away.

Harry's eyes were open, but he was looking at the ceiling, no movement other than his breathing, and that's why he was honestly worried. 

Louis barely touched Harry's hand, calling his name it seemed to be repetitive but he never once looked at him, his eyes stayed on the pattern of the ceiling. And maybe he said something, then again it was possible this was all a reoccurrence of a dream.  "H-Harry I know you can hear me, for the love of god just look at me."

If the walls could hear Louis's sobs they would comfort him, as Harry would if he even could. "What's the point?" Louis thought to himself. Huge tears brimming in his eyes before they overflow rolling down his cheeks. "You can't just give up Harry, I'm sorry if I sound selfish but I love you and I need you."

~.~

                Earlier on....

"Louis you've hardly even touched your coffee, I thought it was your favorite," Gemma commented, noticing he was looking outside the window, noticing how gray the sky had become in the amount of time they had been there. "I know you miss going with Harry, but it'll be better soon, I'm sure of it."

Louis could burn through the thickness of the atmosphere, his ears a deep cherry red, and tears brimmed his eyes "You shouldn't talk about him like that. You know, he wouldn't appreciate being talked about like he's already dead."

Lottie gasped, and Gemma's face fell. Of course, she was hurt by what he said, but like Harry, she didn't let it bother her for more than a couple of minutes.

 The table grew silent even though the rest of the cafe was somewhat the opposite.  Barista's calling out order numbers, plus the random chatter of the customers and Louis was having a hard time concentrating on just his own thoughts, give him a break it was obvious it was Harry. His scent, lavender, and a bit of vanilla. His voice, rich like chocolate but savory like honey. He missed the way he spoke to him in the morning and just before bed, god he missed it all. 

    "Louis, c'mon you can go sit with Harry, Gems and I are taking Anne to get our nails done."

Lottie says, motioning Louis over, and he completely forgot all about his own coffee. He just wanted to see Harry again, hold his hand, and talk. Even if he was just talking to the air, he didn't care.

~.~

      "Harry, how could this happen to someone as beautiful and wonderful as you?" Louis whispered, his eyes red-rimmed and his cheeks swollen from crying, if anyone were to call him a baby he would've probably told them off. This wasn't just anyone, this was Harry and he was very much important. 

As Louis starts to turn away he could hear chatter from the hallway, the girls were back and he just wanted to hide under covers and cry until he was dehydrated. Instead, he glances up at them with a weary smile, his hand linked with Harry and he realized he wasn't the strong guy anymore his walls were falling down.

   "Did- did he wake up?" Gemma's voice broke as she almost dropped her coffee. Louis only nodded and a sob escaped without warning, "He isn't responding to my voice or... or my touch."

Thinking too much about how everything was happening Louis began to feel dizzy, maybe it was due to not sleeping, he was absolutely exhausted. It was going on four days with not a single slumber, and anyone knew how much of a toll that was, except Louis.

Louis woke up in his own bed, it wasn't what he was hoping for, the room felt empty. No Harry, nothing comparing chestnut curls against his chest, emerald eyes looking up and a gentle kiss on his own. This was definitely different than the emptiness he now felt. 

The warmth of Harry's arms around his torso and the times he came in with breakfast, pained him to be alone. Why was he home alone? Did they not realize this was how depression started, guess not.

He slowly swung his feet on the underside of the bed, rubbing his eyes, and the vision of Harry's eyes being open and looking at the ceiling still being on his mind. "What am I suppose to do?" He could barely speak, and he wanted to cry. 

Why couldn't he figure it out, it was a coma, not rock science. He needed to be there for his baby, yet someone decided to drive him home. 

Louis was about to fix himself some cocoa pops when his phone went off, a simple ding and he couldn't help how fast he leaped towards the device.

"Gemma says that he can move his head now." Louis bit his lip to keep a sob from escaping. He held the phone shakily in his hand, not really knowing what to do with the information. "Don't worry too much okay love, spend today resting, and tomorrow or during the weekend I'll ride over to have you see Harry okay?" 

Lottie knew how tired he had been and obviously only wanted what was best. Louis sighs and only sent a simple "Okay." with a smiley face, and soon he went back to making his cocoa pops. He couldn't wait to see Harry again. He was his rock, his love, his literal everything.

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