Don't Let It Break Your Heart

14 : Guarantees, No Promises

The doctor was speaking to Louis when Harry awoke the next morning, apparently waiting a week seemed far more difficult for Louis and he wanted to know the condition as soon as he walked through the door. 

Dreadful moment, it was, his heartbroken as soon as he found out Harry was paralyzed from the neck down, and he sobbed when he found out Harry couldn't speak. 

How was he suppose to divulge in conversation about the simplest of things life had to offer, like coffee with two creams or just one? Louis was trying to keep it together, but how could he? 

He just wanted to be there for Harry and now? It seemed the hopeless was bound to make an appearance.

             "I can't get him to eat anything, I remembered that he didn't like meat so I made him a s-salad." Anne informed Louis, through what most likely was a sob. Louis couldn't blame her, in all reality of it all, Harry was getting worse, not better.

"M-Maybe I can help." Louis drew in a breath before trying to speak, he couldn't help the silent tears that began to cascade down his already rosy cheeks. "I know - I know he might listen to m-me..."

Louis slowly walked over at once, realizing that the doctor was no longer standing there. 

What else was he supposed to do, he needed to be the supportive boyfriend that he was yet it seemed too overbearing. Maybe he was just stubborn in his ways of believing differently, it was quite possible he just needed to make Harry comfortable.  The truth, all in all, was that Harry was not well, and he needed to face the evident facts that were literally laying there before him

"Hazza." Louis sounded as if he were about to crumble to the floor, like a box of legos, and there was no way he could build himself back together. Louis whimpered, shaking his head slowly, at the thought of a mum conversation with Harry.  

His heart sank, once he gently took Harry's hand in his own, and he could see Harry try to prevail as a happy being. Truth was, he wasn't. As Louis took just a peek at Harry, his eyes welled in tears, he couldn't believe his love wouldn't be able to speak to him or express how he felt . 

And above all, the movement he once had was no longer existent. It broke his heart. "C'mon Harry,  it's going to be alright, you know that r-right?"

He wanted to say We'll see love maybe even I'll be alright as long as I have you by my side but his lips could only part slightly, and his vocal cords had yet to make any improvement. 

   "It's okay Harry, you don't have to stress yourself just to talk to me, okay? How about you just nod if-if I ask questions?

Harry barely nods with an agreement and Louis lets out a deep sigh of relief. At least he could find a way to conversate with Harry, at least to some degree he could still hold onto what they once had. 

         "Sorry." Louis begins to shed multiple tears, I'm so sorry Harry after trying everything to help you and I still managed to choose the wrong d-decision."

Harry shook his head and closed his eyes, for more than a few reasons he knew that statement was wrong. He wanted to tell Louis so many qualities he had that seemed good to him, from the very beginning. However, fate kept trying to tear him apart, whether it be keeping him silent or less mobile. 

    "Louis, do you have just a moment?" The doctor spoke genial, his nose scrunched almost exactly like Harry used to do. And for a  moment, time felt stationary. Louis almost felt doomed if he were to not move but leaving Harry brought back his biggest fears. 

The night he was sure Harry wouldn't live too much longer and he truly felt responsible for the lad, despite him being a full-grown man. "C'mon now, he'll be fine, I'm sure." 

Louis nodded slowly, however for a moment he turned to glance at Harry. He valued his approval over just about anyone. Maybe even including his own mum-in-law. When he saw Harry's half-smile, giving him the okay to go on without him he couldn't help but smile in return. 

Louis made his way over to the physician and who stood beside him had Louis leave his mouth open, it just happened to be the surgeon who supposedly took Harry's cancer away. 

  "Hello, I'm the surgeon, I don't know if you remember me or not." Chestnut hair was the first thing to come to his mind as Louis reminded back of the following months, Mitch Rowland was the man in charge of caring for his beloved Harry, however, things didn't work out or so they said. He never got word from Mitch after the supposed accident within the time of the incident that occurred- what six months ago? "My name is-"

Louis couldn't help the snarl that left his lips, reminding himself of Scott from Teen wolf when he was unable to control himself, he mainly had anger issues in the show but all in all, it was just protection. 

Louis just wanted to protect and love Harry with all of his heart, the fact that Mitch was back and probably here to plead his case, felt so irrelevant to Louis.

   "Save it, okay?" His voice was barely a whisper, which made it obvious that his bark was inferior to the actual bite. "You did enough Mitch, you say you're a friend of Harry's yet you haven't made the first visit to as much as a check on him."

Louis wasn't wrong, Mitch came off as arrogant, but in all reality, he was almost gutless when it came to facing the absolute truth. He almost killed Harry on the operating table.

  "You're right... and you're probably biting your tongue to keep from causing an altercation here at the hospital." He could sense a shakiness in the atmosphere, Louis refused to talk unlike six months to a year ago when he was laughing it up with Harry and a few friends.

 It was a rare moment when Harry spoke of how amazing Louis was, talking of the two making breakfast and Louis could so much as cook a decent waffle. It seemed so long ago, yet right around the corner. 

Pain sunk in the very pit of his stomach and he had a hard time speaking, he actually hoped Louis might say something but it was probably hopeless. Everything within that moment, as the aura of the hallway became dense.

"Harry is in a chronic condition and you just waltz over here after months of being silent? I have cried for the last four and a half months after two months of denial. Louis spat, growing angry, but it truly revealed guilt instead.  "You weren't here, okay?" You don't understand and I don't expect you to. Nor do i expect you to care, but if you do care i suggest you whip up an acceptable apology." 

As Louis finally confessed how he felt about the sensitive topic he could see Anne from the corner of the room eyes burning from the endless tears streaming down her face. Anne didn't like Mitch that much anymore either, however she kept her intuitions to herself. Especially knowing it wouldn't make a difference, Harry was clearly not getting any better and she was tired of watching him suffer.

  "I won't stay long, I just wanted to say that there are therapies available if you wish for Harry to become in a better state of mind, my colleague can work with him each day and help him both mentally and - and physically." There was sweat forming as he creased his brow, trying to seem like the top dog even though he was sent to the doghouse not long before that. The analogy seemed silly, but he  was in all honesty in trouble. His job was basically on the line after what happened with Harry. "You only have my guarantees, no promises I'm afraid." 

Louis could only nod, and he glanced towards Harry who had closed his eyes. Harry was so strong and so brave, that much he knew. And keeping the lad from improving just based on his own emotions, was selfish. He had to do the right thing, to consider the possibilities of Harry being normal again, it just felt right.

"Alright, we'll- uh- we'll try it."

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