Don't Let It Break Your Heart

19: Just Hold My Hand, It Gives Me Strength

Anne was in the room, sitting beside Harry, and Louis had hoped for anything but this sadness of a day to come. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked towards the doorway, to avoid anyone seeing him cry. 

He knew deep down Harry was strong, he knew despite his mind being different than anyone else, he was still his Harry and nobody could change that. Nothing could. Not time. Not even illness. Yet everything still hurt, and Louis was slowly but surely having to let go of the love they once had. 

            "Louis, love, c'mere," Anne spoke quietly, sitting on Harry's hospital bed, he looked pale, or so it seemed. When Louis turned around to see Harry his lower lip trembled and he couldn't help but break down right then and there. It wasn't every day that Louis gave in, having a shoulder to cry on, he was thankful to Anne. 

Harry made a promise when they were in secondary school, he was only around thirteen back then and they were sitting crisscross on the merry-go-round. The two had been laughing until their tummies hurt saying the dumbest things, but now those exchanging of words helped Louis to hold onto the good things.  Harry promised to be his friend forever, promised to never leave him alone with any of the rebels that really thought they owned the school grounds. 

          "Pfft, they act tough but they ain't nothin." Harry would say with his cheesiest smile, one that made Louis a little more confident, even if his confidence happened to be ground zero, Harry has literally been there for him since day one, and even if he didn't say anything he was so thankful. "You wanna go on the swing Lou Lou, it'll be fun!" And what was Louis to say no for? He could never say no to an offer as innocent and naive as Harry's had been back then.

          "Louis?" Anne's voice rang in his ears, and he jumped just a little turning towards her, his heart seeming to grieve Harry already, however, nothing had happened yet. The lad was still there in the bed as he had been before, despite it, all Louis already had the feeling of things going downhill. Harry wasn't talking that much anymore, just glancing at his loved ones every now and then. It scared Louis of course, but it was terrifying to Harry. If things could for once go his way, he would be beyond thrilled. 

Louis felt arms wrap around his back and he sniffled hard. His eyelashes sticking together and a sob escaped a little too easy for his liking. "A-Anne, this isn't supposed to h-happen. I've already lost m-me mum... now Harry." All the strength he thought he had, well, now he felt defeated. Everything was crashing around him and he found it harder to breathe now. 

"Don't tell me th-this is the way it ends for me ... oh god." He whispered, wiping his eyes with his forearm. "A- Anne, I was going to ask him t-to marry me. It-It's what I've been wanting t-to since I was eighteen." He found it harder to talk as he became overwhelmed with sadness.

 To say that Louis was taking the news of Harry regressing in his health well would be an out and out lie, but he was definitely allowing himself to let go. "I-I need to get a coffee," Louis mumbled, slowly pulling away from Anne, no longer hiding his emotions. But also wanting to be alone in his thoughts at the same time. He now realized just now why Harry wanted all the alone time, it wasn't because he didn't want his company, he just didn't want to seem weak in front of Louis.

    "Would you get me something as well love?" She says in a soft tone, the one Harry resembled, Louis, hiccuped as a response followed by a nod. He was honestly unsure how his voice would sound and didn't really want to test it right now. 

As soon as he was away from Anne, the tears didn't stop, and he what was he to care? "Stupid feelings getting the better of me." He mumbled as he continued to walk towards the elevator. "I hate it here, nobody knows anything, and they messed up what could've saved him! Why couldn't things just be back to normal?

Louis shook his head, thinking all of this was impossible. None of it seemed right to him, there was an unsettling in his gut that he didn't really know how to respond to, other than cry. He felt so cheated in this life now, his best friend and sweat heart was in fact dying. When he promised he would be there for him. Always.

     "Louis, you're shaking." Anne sighs, as he walked in with two coffees, he looked beyond exhausted, but he didn't dare sleep, and Anne didn't bother telling him it would help. She soon stood up, walking over to the poor lad, and helped him to sit down. Now he was next to Harry and he wasn't sure if he could hold himself together, not for long anyway. 

"How about I leave you two alone for a little while?" She offers, hoping that it will get Louis to open up a little bit. If Louis had it his way, he would stay silent, but it wasn't possible. He knew what he had to do and he was willing to do it. 

Anne left him alone with Harry who was now looking at him with guilt-ridden eyes, nothing leaving his lips, yet his breathing was even. He had hoped for better than this, and anyone could've told him that the surgery did more harm than good.  "I'm sorry H, this is all my fault, we should've done something other than people who suck with incisions." 

As he was talking he felt Harry hold his hand and it brought him to tears a memory coming to mind as Louis barely squeezes his palm. "Just hold my hand Lou Lou... we can be best friends forever and ever."

Reminded Louis of the movie they watched several times as kids, The fox and the hound. Well everyone knows how that ended right? Louis sniffled, a tear without warning began to roll down his cheek. "Just hold my hand, it gives me strength, Hazza."

Thank you for reading my loves! Vote and comment if you enjoyed it!