Don't Let It Break Your Heart

18: You Make Me Strong

         "You should get some rest, you know?"Louis mumbled as he kissed Harry's forehead, the lad had been having trouble sleeping since his last episode, which was almost three days ago, and Louis didn't have the heart to be blunt about it.  

Harry was supposed to be progressing to the next stage of recovery, but each time Louis thought he was finally ready he regress. Louis gave up on what he thought would work, Adam suggested having time away from Harry, but it was almost as if they were one, each other's whole world. 

You can separate who is meant to be together, that's what is written in the stars. Maybe that was just some fortune cookie message Louis unraveled on one of their date nights. Any way you look at it, he loved Harry more than anything in the entire world and he would do whatever Harry needed.  He never spoke of it though, feelings to him being a completely different matter and if he were to be true to himself, he tended to hide how he felt the majority of the time. 

He held onto the smallest of things, like when Harry wanted to be left alone due to his headaches. All Louis wanted to do was be there for him, but Harry somehow found it to be annoying and clingy. Back when they first began dating the two were inseparable, and now it was as if he had no idea how to begin a conversation with him.

 There were ties now when he had to be careful with what he says, one time he even slipped up mentioning Harry's medicine at home. It angered him, and he never found out why. 

Here they were now, it was half-past midnight and Louis was trying to get Harry to sleep, but he didn't, or maybe couldn't. Louis wasn't entirely sure the reason and Harry was an adult. He couldn't just make him do something he didn't want to do. 

So when Harry didn't really respond to him, he let it go. He slowly began to fix the covers around him, almost tucking him in, hoping to help him be a bit more comfortable in this difficult situation, where the times grew wearisome. And yet, even now, Harry had that half-smile. The one that sent Louis over the moon and it was just another one of the little things.

 Tonight, even though Harry looked tired, he was also like taking in the sight of a vivid dream one could never wake up from.  It was almost like their first night on the beach and Harry turned to Louis, he already knew the words before Harry even said them. 

He remembered it, it held too many memories, and he couldn't forget something as amazing as that night. 

~.~

"You know we could probably stay all night out here..." Harry's voice was sweet and mellow as honey, reminded Louis of the tree sap his tree had in his own back yard. It made him smile. "Could count all the stars in the sky tonight, and the still wouldn't illuminate as bright as you."

Did that make him tear up, well, Louis shook his head and a blush appeared on his cheeks. He was able to hide the tears pretty well. At least he thought so when Harry pulled him in for a hug and gave him a gentle kiss. Harry was his whole world, and everything felt right when he was there.

            "I care about you Louis, really I do." The smile never leaving the lad's face as he leaned down once again to give him another kiss, this time it was on the lips, and it had meaning. 

That night Louis fell hard for Harry, even more than he ever had. And he couldn't stop smiling, only because he knew they both shared the same fondness. The love, the way he would give anything just to be Harry's, and he knew he would treasure him forever. Because that night, Harry in fact gave him his heart. 

Louis didn't realize it until now, but he was shedding tears again, biting his lower lip to keep the sobs from surfacing, and he noticed that Harry had finally fallen asleep. Heaven sent, it was all Louis could think, and he was truly thankful for the angel that was laying before him. 

    "I love you, Hazza, always have and I always will." Now, tomorrow, for the rest of my life." He places a gentle kiss on Harry's forehead, wanting to lay beside him like they used to.

 Being accustomed to having his sweetheart with him, laughing and having just small talks in the AM. He even remembered the moments where Harry was his most honest self, talking of his dad leaving when he needed him the most and how his mum struggled without her other half.

 Harry remembered being confused, especially when his mum was crying early in the morning. It always happened when Louis stayed all night, they couldn't have been more than four years old, and Louis was about six. Time is of the essence, but back then they were kids and had no idea and they were just being kids.

 Louis remembered seeing Harry's little frustrating pout when his mummy would cry and look at family pictures of them, neither really understood, but Louis could tell when someone was hurting and Anne more than likely was. 

Louis slowly pulled a blanket across Harry, hoping that he would feel better come Monday morning, Louis was all but ready to give up. He needed his sunflower, not only because Harry brought him happiness, but it was also the fact that they have been through absolutely everything together. 

    "Harry-" Louis took his hand in his own, grinning only a bit when he took notice in how the lad slept, still like when they were together in their old apartment in Princess Park complex. "You make me strong, you need to know that, I'm not the same without you. But if it all else fails, I will try to move on and be okay."

As he made his thoughts known with the atmosphere, just to get it off his chest, he could barely hear Harry speak to him. "I'm okay..." His voice was raspy, bringing Louis back to the days before when daybreak was just coming to, and Harry would turn to him and kiss his lips soft and gentle and he felt safe in his arms before he tackled the school day.

"Harry." Louis sniffles, holding onto his arm, lost like he would fall if Louis were to let go. "Harry, I'm scared, and I know- I know that you've been here for me, to protect me and- and shield me. But... n-now it's my turn. And it's okay to be scared I know that. We can be scared together, right?"

Harry didn't speak to him, he only had fresh tears appear in his eyes. Being strong was harder now that he was uncertain of how life was going to go for him and Lou. When they were younger, they felt like they had their whole life. Now Harry thought about it, he could be one seizure away from meeting his maker. 

I hope you are enjoying the book thank you for reading!