Don't Let It Break Your Heart

3.Drown the Memories

Liam couldn't stand to do this any longer, Harry seemed to go out on the town and drink until the pain of losing Louis went away, but the truth was no matter what he did the pain still lingered around, and the guilt was worse. Harry wondered if his drinking may have pushed Louis to want to be away from him. Maybe it was the headache of the issue, but Harry couldn't take notice of it, not when his pain was drowned with yet another Jack Daniels. 

The fact that Harry had a collection of them in his very own room should tell you enough about his whole situation.  Resentment burned in the pit of Harry's stomach and he swore sometimes he could feel it rise to his chest. If he had to explain himself to someone one more time he knew he was going to -

Eyes ogle across the bar and he knew he had too much to drink, he was glazed yet he felt no pain. The mere thoughts of Louis and what happened mere months ago were no longer thought on his mind.

The laughter the item that they once were before everything descended downward, Harry couldn't tell you a thing about it. However, he could explain his love for drinking shots with Nick Grimshaw, the man who actually made him look to alcohol when Louis became distant.

Harry being 7 shots in, didn't realize what was happening, other than the sticky atmosphere and the clammy bodies that began to grind against each other. Somehow he didn't mind it, in fact, the last time Harry was here and he had a male shimmy his way out of his clothes and into his pants.

     "Harry, mate, c'mon we need to get you home, alright?" Liam's words seemed to be a blur compared to the booming music and the shameless people who thought talking of their last one night stand was definitely better than their marriage. As Harry felt an arm wrapped around his waist he couldn't help but embrace the feeling of human touch, he needed it.  "Yeah, c'mon H, it'll be alright." He promised the lad, taking him out to his silver-gray Ford Ranger, the Wildtrak Deranged edition. "And don't you dare puke in my car, this is the limited edition and I prefer to keep it in excellent condition."

Despite Liam's warning, Harry did get a bit sick, excluding the fact it wasn't in his car it happened to be all outside of the window. Maybe Liam wouldn't kill him all in all, he didn't exactly say outside of his car, he basically referred to the interior. 

Memories became sheer chaos in Harry's mind, as he laid down that night. His arms were inviting, warm and he was very pleasing to the eyes. Harry may have even encountered a time where Lou's eyes were all he thought about. Sure, he had the body of a model, hourglass figure with a second to none posterior, Harry knew Louis put other men to sham just by shaking his tush.

   "You like me arse don' you Haz?" The feeling was all too familiar and it brought the puppy love he felt he had for Louis when they stayed together for the first time, pizza and soda leftovers setting in front of the tv, and falling asleep in each other's arms. Paradise Harry wished he could go back to, but in reality, that was over and he knew he had to get over Louis.

"You're awake, hey." Niall's voice was unpleasant to Harry's aching head, the sound making his head a suffering pain and he could only wince. Not daring to tell Niall he already took about four pain killers just to numb the misery from the night before, of course, Harry didn't remember everything but he knew that Nick had a lot to do as to why he felt how he did.  

Harry felt that getting over Louis could actually be done through the consumption of alcohol, however, he was wrong. And now he had recollections of his affair of the heart with Louis. To say he was just a fling, would be a deception of his own mind. He was in love, and he allowed alcohol dependency to overcome the attachment he had for Louis.

Failing to remember that Niall was indeed still in the room, Harry feels a bit embarrassed. And as he turned to meet the blonde-haired boy he couldn't help the sobs that escaped his lips. "Lou is gone.. why did he have to leave me... it's not fair." So what did the alcohol really do for him?

 Sure it may have given him the ultimate high, but somehow after it all, he was spiraling into a deep pit of depression. The tears this time, somehow could not be stopped. Not when the intuition he had once the phone call was made and the words entered his ear, it was all over somehow.

Harry could feel the warmth of Niall's embrace, the isolation he still felt after it all, and he knew Niall wouldn't stay as Liam had. Niall was there for the hugs and the comfort when he needed it but in the moments when the pain would hit the most, at night, he didn't have anyone to dry his tears. The regret of the night he let Louis go to Liam's and he thought for sure the next day they would make-up and everything would be okay. Turns out, it wasn't. The nearest emergency room that Louis was taken to, Harry looked back on it now, just happened to be the Spire Cheshire Hospital. A very private hospital where only family members were allowed inside. 

Harry could feel tears fall down his cheeks and hitting the pillow for the third time that night, the fact he couldn't even see Louis as he was officially in his last final days, hurt more than the night they had parted ways. He felt as if maybe he could've prevented it from ever happening. The accident, the phone call from Liam. And the words that left his lips,  Harry it's bad... Tommo was in an accident. Get here if you can okay? Harry remembered everything as if it happened yesterday. But what he called to mind the most was the way Louis held his hand as he was being put into the ambulance by two EMTS's.

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