"You what? Adeelah Maya Malik!" my mum had arrived back at 5:30 after picking my little sisters up from school and doing some shopping. She is currently yelling at me as I attempt to sober up.
"Mum, I'm sorry" no I'm not, "I'm 17 though. Almost 18 you have to understand that this is wh-" I try to explain to her.
"I don't want to hear it. This is why I don't let you out, you can't handle it!" and with that she slams my bedroom door and I hear her go downstairs.
"Urgh!" I scream loud enough so I'm sure they'll hear me downstairs. I throw myself onto my bed and cover my face as tears sting my eyes and slip down my cheeks. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of being upset. I'm sick of everything.I glance at the pills that are on my desk, I sit up and grab them. They're pretty strong pills. It wouldn't take a lot of them to just-
"Addy?" I jump and quickly shove the pills under my pillow.
"Hey Saffa." I say, she comes in and sits next to me and hugs me.
"You okay? You smell of alcohol like Zayn does sometimes." she tells me and I feel a little sick. She's so young yet associates alcohol with her big brother.
"I'm fine, just- I'm fine. How was school?" I ask her.
"I don't like it when you're sad. You'll have to start taking more pills again, then it'll end up like last time and you won't speak or eat. I don't like that Addy." she tells me sounding scared, ignoring my question to her.
"Hey, listen. I was much younger then, I'm older now. I can handle more, it'll take a lot to get me back to that bad place. Want me to tell you a secret?" I reassure her feeling guilty.
"Yeah." she replies, her eyes lighting up.
"I like one of them." I tell her and her smile reappears on her face.
"Who?" she bounces on the spot watching me intently, relieved I managed to get the subject away from anything too serious I let a smile slip on to my face as well.
"Well that's something I'm not going to tell you!" I laugh she cross' her arms but still has a smile on her face.
"Fine, I'll figure it out." she jumps up and grabs my hand pulling me out of my room.
"Safaa! I don't want to go downstairs." I complain as she drags me. I'm very aware of my watery red eyes and tear stained face and the fact that I still have some alcohol in my system.
"It won't help staying in your room. I told you, I don't like you being sad." she forces me to come into the kitchen with her, not understanding that if anything it will make me feel worse. She keeps hold of my hand and stands next to me as I stare at the ground.
"You okay?" Zayn is next to me in seconds of me being in the room, I continue to look at my feet and nod my head silently aware that Louis, Liam and my mum are also in the room.
"So you're in college tomorrow? How long for?" he asks me a question that forces me to speak to him.
"11 until 2:30" I say quietly. I glance at Safaa next to me who has dropped my hand and wondered over to Louis and Liam, then I look at Zayn. He looks worried.
"Erm, what courses?" he continues still to try and make conversation.
"English and Music." I shrug a little. I should've taken them pills when I had the chance in my room. I snap my head up as my mum comes and stands with me and Zayn.
"Adeelah are you okay now?" she says holding my eye contact. Why have 3 people asked me that since I've come downstairs?
"Yes." no.
"Please don't lie. I'm going to get the other pills from the doctors in a minute. Promise me you will take them?" she says, pain in her voice. The other pills are for depression, I've had it since I was 11 but I've never understood how people pin point that. Sometimes it's worse and sometimes it gets a little easier. My mum clearly thinks this is the start of me getting worse so she's going to get them. I don't like depression, it makes me seem like a victim. I'm not.
"I-" don't want them, "promise I'll take them mum." I say to her. The whole conversation was in whispers to make sure no one had heard, obviously Zayn had he always knows about this stuff but other than that nobody knew. My sisters knew the brief details but not really enough.
"Okay, boys I'm just popping out. I'll be back in half an hour." she declares grabbing her purse and marching towards the front door. I step back and grab onto the kitchen side gripping it tightly. My knuckles turn white I'm holding on so hard.
"How you feeling Ad's?" Liam calls, I force a smile on my face and nod not really hearing what he's saying.
"She's lying but good luck trying to speak to her." Zayn mutters and walks away, I think he's like that because he knows it'll only be harder for him to leave when the tour starts. That's what he's told me before anyway. I hear footsteps but don't look up. I just guess everyone had left me alone, but again I'm wrong. I feel arms wrap around me and I don't look to see who it is I know, I recognize his smell.
"I want to tell you everything but I know now isn't the time so I'll wait." he tells me. I nod and relax in to his hold. He supports me as I feel weak and he just holds me. I don't know what to say so I don't say anything and neither does he. An overwhelming sense of tiredness washes over me and I suddenly feel like I've been awake for days without sleep. This causes me to stumble forward into him. He trips backward slightly but stays upright.
"Sorry." I mumble.
"It's fine." he smiles softly. He picks me up, my arms draped round his neck lazily as he supports my body with one arm and my holds m legs in the other, bridal style.
"You're tired." he states and takes me up to my room and lies me gently in my bed and pulls my covers over me, which I appreciate. He brushes my hair out of my face and brushes his lips lightly on my forehead.
"Sweet dreams." he turns my light off and closes my door. I reach my hand under my pillow and feel the small silver plastic packet in my hand of the little white pills. Then I shut my eyes and fall asleep.
A/N So which boy was it that held her, looked after her and tucked her in? Comment who you think it was. Niall? He clearly cares about her a lot. Louis? He's a bit of a knob but cares. Liam? He's like another brother to her. Harry? He likes her as a friend and gets on well with her. Zayn? He's her brother but he seemed detached in this chapter..... Or is there another boy who has come in that's from her past?
Can I just say now, the details about depression may be incorrect. I've never experienced depression and have no idea how people with it think or feel. I'm guessing so please don't be harsh on me about it! Sorry if I get it wrong. ~Emily xx
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Being Zayn Malik's Secret Little Sister.
FanfictionAddy Malik, that sounds familiar? We all know Zayn has sisters, but how many? She's the extra one, the one no one knows of, the one that...escaped the media. How long can she keep it up though? How long can her mum, her sisters, her brother and his...