Born ready -terror twins fanfic-

Chapter 26. Gone

I cried.
I cried all night and I still wasn't able to stop. The concern overwhelmed me. It's obviously the Decepticons are behind it and I wanted Sideswipe to be okay. He means the world to me.
I cried myself to sleep but the moment I woke up. Sideswipe wasn't here and all the memories came back again. Why did he had to leave anyway? Why didn't we leave that night? I soon had to leave, but how could I? Being without Sideswipe is my worst nightmare, but leaving and knowing I wasn't able to say goodbye thrilled me and made me feel sick.

I hadn't eaten, barely slept and drinking was minimum too. I tried, but sometimes I had to vomit from all the stress and worry I carried all day. Ratchet drugged me the other day to make me feel a little bit more relaxed and also gave me an infuse with water.
I looked up as the door opened. Sunstreaker walked in and the first thing that came up in my mind was, 'he's going to kill me, or attempt it again,' why else would he come to me?

He studied me for a moment. "You have a teddy bear?" He mocked. I huffed and brushed a tear off my face. "Sideswipe gave it to me because of the nightmares I have. I don't expect you to understand!" I sulked. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his firm chest.

"You look like shit..." he mocked. I buried my face in the pillow, why do I even care? I don't want to waste my time with him. "Prime asked me to see you..." he sulked. "You're not Sideswipe! Now leave me alone!" I snapped. "No, but I am his twin brother..." he snapped. "Is that supposed to smooth the pain? I don't even like you!" I hissed as tears welled up in my eyes again. He gave me an insulted and even hurt look which surprised me.

"Sideswipe is fine, Merope. As long as I don't worry, you shouldn't worry either!"

I laughed mockingly, "you beat him up... you don't give a shit about him! You only care about yourself!" I snapped. He hit my cheek pretty hard. A stinging pain followed nearly immediately. "Don't ever talk to me like that again!" He sneered. "Stop crying for Primus sake!" He scowled. I tried but couldn't. "You are so pathetic..." he sneered,— scowling. "Your words don't even hurt me anymore! Leave me alone, Sunstreaker."

He grunted and walked over to the door. "Take a shower and make something of yourself! Do you think you'll get him back with this behavior!" He snapped. I glared at him, "you have no right to tell me what to do... I will never forgive you for being so mean towards Sideswipe.... nearly killing me twice, letting me down and worst of all... not allowing me to have a relationship with your brother..."

He laughed mockingly, "I don't even want your stupid forgiveness and I don't regret any of the things I did to you!" He sneered. "Yeah, and that's why I hate you!" I replied coldly. He was hurt, I saw it the way he was looking at me. Why would he be hurt? It's unlike him to be hurt or feel something in general.

He slammed the door closed and left an silence behind that saddened me. I got up, taking Sunstreaker's advice and took a shower. I am going to find him myself now I still have the change. I zipped the already packed backpack closed and used the back door to leave. I was colder then I expected it to be, but didn't bother me much.

I knew where to go, since I had Sideswipe's last coordinates. "Merope!" I grunted and turned my head as a yellow Lamborghini pulled up on the sidewalk, nearly hitting a tree. "Leave me alone, Sunstreaker!" I snapped and kept walking. "Get in!" He snarled. "Why would I listen to a murder!" I snapped. He hit me and I collapsed on the floor. "Sunstreaker!" I shouted loudly and kicked against his bumper. His holoform hopped out and shot me a glare, grabbing me tightly and forced me in his alt-mode.

The seatbelt sneaked around my body tightly so I was barely able to move. "You foolish fleshbag!" He snarled. I huffed and didn't look at his holoform. "Do you really think you can find him!" He snapped. I glared at him, "I can try! It's not the first time I search mission," I snapped. He laughed mockingly, "I bet you're not even able to find your gun!"

"Well, if you payed attention in the last few years you would know by know that I am a hybrid and a shapeshifter. But of course you already know because mighty Sunstreaker knows everything better!" I spat out. He snorted and didn't reply, he stared out of the window.

"Fine, we help each other..."
I didn't reply, "Merope! We help each other to find my brother," he snapped. "I want to find him alone... I won't work with you! You never did anyway... you know everything all too well!" I snapped. He huffed and started his engine,— driving off.

I wanted to leave with Sideswipe as soon as I found him, but Sunstreaker has to ruin everything again. We didn't spoke nor looked at each other and slowly, the sky filled with clouds and started to rain. "We make a stop here..." he announced. "Yeah, whatever..." I scowled and rolled my eyes. "Don't you want him back?"

I snorted and shot him a glare, "I do... I just wish you weren't here..." I muttered and looked away from him. He totally ignored my comment and cut off his engine.
I also hated the fact that he was following me inside the motel. His statement: 'you are going to leave it I don't watch you.' Which is completely true. As soon as I get the change I am out of here,— finding Sideswipe myself.

Sunstreaker settled on the couch while I laid in bed and turned my back towards him. I sighed and touched the necklace around my neck Sideswipe gave me. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again. Why did he had to leave? I couldn't stop the tears from flowing over my cheek. I just tried to be as quiet as possible because Sunstreaker is going to mock me off for sure.

I felt the mattress dip behind me. "What do you want?" I snapped. "Stop crying, it won't bring him back and he's fine..."
It surprised me how soft and gentle his voice was. "I do... because I can feel him..." he replied. I rolled on my back to look at him. "He knows you're upset..." he added quietly. I brushed some tears off my cheeks. "I'd be lost without him... you don't understand, you never will..."

"I love him too..."
"Hard to believe..."
He glanced at me, "all the times you beat him, yelled at him, snapped at him... hurt his feelings... how can possibly be love? He deserves better..." I muttered and turned my back towards him again. I knew he was hurt, I saw it in his eyes. "I kept him alive all these years..." he muttered.

"You're controlling his life, you're taking his freedom... you are losing him..." I muttered. "I'm not losing him..." he muttered. "You are... we would have left two days ago. That's why I waited for hours... he told me to pack things and the reason he wanted to leave was because of you... I wanted to leave because of Mearing... he suggested it..."

Sunstreaker didn't reply and as I looked over my shoulder, I saw the hurt look on his face. Slowly, he got up and sat down on the couch, staring out of the window. His eyes dull and sad. I didn't feel replying on it and laid back down... falling in a restless slumber...