My head turns upwards and a man in paramedic uniform is holding an empty syringe, placing a plastic cap over its sharp, silver needle. My head turns sideways and a lady in uniform has her arms wrapped around me, looser now that I'm not fighting.
"What did you do to me?" My voice is hoarse and panicked but it sounds like I'm under water.
"This is going to help you calm down and rest, okay? We had to get you to stop that. Can you let me get the first aid kit so that Cat can clean you up?" I nod, comfused and shaky. The lady holding me, Cat, has her arms around me still but softer now. Not to restrain but to hold me. She helps me sit up in the corner, keeping one arm around my shoulder and using the other to brush the messy strands of my hair out of my warm, sweaty face.
"It's okay, it's gonna be okay. We're here, Cara. We're here," she's saying to me quietly. I shift my eyes to the cage door. Maybe, if I'm fast, I can jump out and pull open the door and jump out onto the road and- wait... no. My mind wants to but my body is heavy and tired and my head is still spinning and throbbing.
Just as I think this, the man is back and he throws in a first aid kit towards Cat before pointing to the door and giving her a questioning look. Cat gives him a thumbs up and he shuts and locks us in.
Fuck. There goes any chance of escape...
"I'm just gonna start cleaning you up a bit, okay?" Cat says in a calm voice as she opens the first aid kit. First, she takes some fresh gloves and puts them on. Then she takes out some sachets of saline solution, some sterile gauze and a small meopore plaster. She opens the gauze packet and the saline, pouring the liquid onto the white material which she then uses to gently wipe the blood from my face, moving up until she's at the bruised, bloody wound that stretches across my forehead. I wince as the saline stings me however I try and sit still, allowing her to clean me up. My whole body is so numb and I feel myself beginning to go floppy so I lay back against the wall better and close my eyes.
Cat finishes drying my face and forehead with more gauze before putting the plaster on the cut and starting to put all of the used items into a small orange plastic bag.
"There, all done. How are you feeling now darling?" I shrug and mumble incoherently under my breath.
"What was that?" She repeats.
"Fine. Tired. Floppy. Ughhhh what did you drug me with?" I'm slurring my words and with a small sigh, I lay down on the floor. I ignore her answer, too tired to register words. I can feel the soft vibration of the engine and the small bumbs of the road below me. With a sigh, I want to rub my face but I also don't feel like moving right now.
I hear the small door open and close and when I look around, I see I'm alone in the caged area once again. With another small breath, the pounding inside my head fades and I'm asleep.
.
"Cara, we're here!" I can hear the transport man's voice and feel his firm hand shaking me awake. With a large yawn, I open my eyes and sit up slowly. I'm still tired and groggy but I force myself up, glad to be leaving this awful cage.
"Come on, we're at the unit now. It's time to go in. You're going to be okay, they're going to take care of you now," Cat's voice reaches me from outside the van as I sit up and shuffle myself forwards across the van to the red blood stained cage door which I slide out of, standing up for the first time in hours. I look around and see I'm in the main part of the van where the seats are. I yawn again, squinting at the bright sunlight from outside the open door. I stand still the same spot and stretch my tired, aching body before looking out of the now open door and seeing a man who appears to be in his 40s holding the handles of a wheelchair. He is fairly tall, probably just over 6 foot and has dark caramel skin and soft looking afro hair. He is wearing a black polo tshirt and dark grey jeans with some black Nike trainers. He has a lanyard hanging down his front which is half blue with 'NHS' down it over and over again in white and half pride flag colours. As I walk closer to him, I see it has an ID on it too which says his staff number, the hospitsl name, ward name and his name which is Jai. I stand in front of the wheelchair and cross my arms at him.
"I'm not sitting in that," I say. I don't say this because I want to be defiant or because I want to burn extra calories, I say this because I've become so sick of the black and silver hospital issued wheelchairs. I have legs for a reason, surely walking a few hundred meters isn't going to KILL me and I'm way too tired to run away anyways.
"Hi Cara, it's nice to meet you. I'm Jai," the way he pronounces his name sounds unique. Like Chai but Jai.
"Hi," I say cautiously. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cat holding my bag of stuff.
"I understand you don't want to sit in the wheelchair but how about we maybe just co-operate until we get inside, then we can sit down and talk about making a care plan?" I shake my head, turning to take my bag from Cat who at first doesn't let go however when I look up at her angrily, she finally allows me to take it. I'm incredibly dizzy and disoriented from that injection still and my tired body feels almost out of my control as I sway side to side trying to carry my bag to the wheelchair where I finally dump it down on the seat.
"I'm sorry but no. I'm sick of wheelchairs. I can walk, I have working legs for a reason," I insist, placing my left hand on my hip. I'm so dizzy and I'm starting to want to sit down but I'm also stubborn and want to stand my ground so I turn to the transport people instead and thank them awkwardly for their help before turning towards Jai and looking around me. The hospital consists of 3 fairly large buildings that each have signs pointing to them. The smallest building is like a large old fashioned manor house and sure enough, it's called The Manor according to the sign. The second building is large and spread across more land. The two story building's sign reads 'Atlantic Ward'. The last building is the biggest and the sign on that one says 'Oceanside Ward'. I look back at Jai who stares at me from behind the chair.
"Okay, fine, you can walk in with me. Let's go," I keep a straight face despite wanting to smile at the fact I 'won'.
I wave back at the transport ambulance which has both staff inside it again and they wave back at me before I turn back to Jai who is walking in the direction of Atlantic Ward. I presume that is the eating disorders unit and as we reach the door, I begin to become anxious. I've never been somewhere like this before and I've only ever heard awful stories about them so I'm terrified however Jai turns around, noticing how anxious I am. He hovers his hand over my shoulder, giving me a look that requests my permission for him to touch me. I nod and he pats my shoulder gently.
"It's going to be okay, Cara. You ready?" He says, buzzing the door open with his fob. With a small nod, we go in and as the door slams shut behind me I finally fully realise that I'm actually stuck here now.
This is it.
[EDITED]
YOU ARE READING
Fade Into Darkness
Teen Fiction⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Cara wants to shrink. She wants to get herself as small as possible, to push the limits of life. She has no care for safety or life. No concern for anything but her anorexia nervosa which guides her closer to the edge every day...
