Fade Into Darkness

Travel.

It doesn't take too long before I reach the train station. I stand outside for a moment, unsure on what to do as I finish my ciggie, however I don't hesitate for too long. It's been about half an hour since I left school now. Mum will be back soon and she has probably sent someone out looking for me so I drop the end of my smoke and head inside.

No one trusts the mentally ill kid alone for too long.

To be honest, as my heart palpatates, I start to understand why. Eh, fuck it. If I die, I die. It is what it is.

I remind myself that as I walk up to the ticket booth. And ask for prices to get a direct to London. The moody kid selling the tickets gave me a dull, bored answer of "£15" and I pay with a £20 note. After recieving my change and ticket, I walk over to the little station shop where I buy a redbull and some more cigarettes as who knows how strict London shops are.
This dude didn't care either way, he just sold me the cigs without a second glance and so I head towards the platform.
I still have 5 minutes until the train arrives and 15 until it leaves so I head to the platform bathrooms where I drop my bag on the floor and pull out a set of clothes.

I change into a black and white tartan skirt with black fishnets, a nirvana shirt with a white longsleeve underneath and I swap my black converse for some black and grey patterned Doc Martins.
I then pull my shoulder length black hair up into a messy bun and hide it under my black beanie. I also redo my makeup in the scratched bathroom mirror (which was pretty difficult) and change from my subtle school look to a more bold and less recognisable design.
I go for huge black alt wings, smudged eye shadow and a highlight on the inside of my eye plus some light blush on my cheeks and black matte lipstick. Done.
I then take a seat on the bathroom floor, on top of my bag, to count the money I have.
My dad's stash, plus mine, adds up to £3630 which will keep me going for a while. I should be able to get a fake ID and shit to help me change my identity and get a job to earn more.
At least I won't need much food.

I check my watch and realise the train is probably here and leaving in 5 minutes so I spray myself with some deoderant and gather up my stuff to get going. And sure enough, as I emerge from the bathroom, the train is there.
I board it and relax into my seat with a sigh of relief.

Time to check my phone.

Sure enough, my mum is already panicking. I unlock my phone to see 34 missed calls and 87 messages from her alone.
The school, Danielle, Matt and another random number have also tried to call and message me. I ignore and delete all of their attempts to contact me and log onto my thinsta instead. Just as I'm typing in my password, a call from the random number appears on my phone screen again.

I decide to answer.

"Who the fuck are you? Stop calling me!" I snap. The caller is silent for a moment before responding.

"Cara, it's Molly, or Ms Martins. You can call me Molly though. What's going on?" I sigh. Why the fuck is she calling?

"Look, nothing is going on. I'm going to stay at a friend's place for a few days. I am fine. Leave me alone," This response is met with a small, feminine sigh on the other end of the phone.

"I'm sorry for bothering you. It's just, everyone is worried. Your family, the school, your care team, your friends. We are worried. You need to come home, Cara. You aren't well. You need support hun," Oh for fuck sakes, I think. She just wants to drag me back home where I'll be thrown into hospital to rot. Well that isn't happening.

"No! I do not need help and I am as well as ever! I am FINE. Don't worry. Just leave me alone and stop acting like you give a shit," I murmur angrily down the phone as the train doors shut and we slowly starts to move out of the station.

"Care, I really do care. Trust me, I-"

"Just shut up! You're chatting so much shit right now! I am leaving. None of you can stop me. I do not CARE! Just piss off. Good fucking bye!" And with that, I end the call. Fuck her. Fuck my family. Fuck everyone. They are a bunch of assholes.

Oh well, less than 2 hours and I'll be in London. Away from all of their shit. I cannot WAIT.

I take a sip of water as reality begins to set in.

Where will I go? Where will I stay? I can afford a hotel for a few nights but I can't stay for too long. It costs way too much.

How will I get a fake ID and Passport? I don't know anyone in London.

But it's too late to go back.

I can't think about this, I need to just do it and see what happens. I'm gonna be okay, I have enough money for now. I try to relax and lay my head on the window where I watch the scenery fly by until my eyes slip shut and I fall into a light sleep.

[EDITED]