That's a Secret

Chapter 13

When I get home I run up to my room and shut the door. I do not want to socialize with anyone right now. I just want to stay in my room and cry.

Dylan's mom is right. He deserves better. He deserves better than a dumbass like me. He deserves someone prettier and skinnier. He deserves someone who isn't me.

Honestly I can't see any guy liking me! No one could love a depressed, cutter! No one.

And I can't get close to anyone. Becuz I'm just gonna hurt them. I can't even see myself being on this earth by next year. I'm so done. Like I am absolutely done. I'm done with dylan, I'm done with mom, I'm done with hurting, I'm done with life.

I go to my desk and grab a pen and paper.

***
It's hard to write a suicide note when your tears are blurring your vision.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a failure. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you all. I can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough.

Good bye...
***

I quickly fold it up and go to my closet. I pick out a black dress. I grabbed my ack heels and a black necklace That i got from my friends a couple years ago.

I don't know why but I always wanted to be dressed up when I did this. It's been something I've been thinking about for a while now.

I take my razors and blades and slice my wrist. This time I don't even care how deep I cut, I didn't care how many I did either. I just kept going till I realize that my arms and sheets were stained red.

Should I really go through with this? I have to. I'm too far gone, no one can save me now.

I always thought of my death. Who would care and who wouldn't. In all the stories I read, I read about the 'knight in shining armour' coming to the rescue getting there right before she kills herself. But that wasn't my story. Those stories were bullshit! No one is coming to save me no one cares. This is it.

I lay down on my bed, close my eyes...

*ring!* *ring!*

I sit up and come back into reality. I look down at my wrist, horrified. I try to stand up but instantly become very dizzy! I try to get to my phone! I tech for it but then all of a sudden I felt the floor against my body and then everything went black.

[[[sorry this chapter is short. And that it ends at a real cliffhanger! ;) I promise I will update real soon]]]