That's a Secret

Epilogue

"Where are they?" I say standing out side of the door, looking for my keys.

I put my hand in my pocket, not there. Then I realize that I forgot them in the van. Thankfully I did not lock the van.

I set down my grocery bags on the front porch, and walk back to the car in the driveway.

I quickly grab my keys and head back to the door. I open the door to the house and take everything to the kitchen.

I carefully take everything out of the grocery bags and put them where they belong.

"Oh I forgot something!" I say to myself and go back out to the van. I open the side door and carefully picked up the single red rose I had bought.

I smelt it and tried to smile. I take the flower and go into the front seat. I drive out of the driveway and down the street.

8 years...

It's been exactly eight years today, I lost him. Eight years since I've seen him, eight years since that awful day. Eight year since I lost Dylan...

I slowly came to a stop and hop out of the van, not forgetting my flower this time.

I sit down on the grass, facing Dylan's gravestone. It felt like yesterday that I was standing here, tears streaming down my face, while they lowered him into the ground.

I've come a long way in these past eight years...

After Dylan died, I could barely take it. I went into another deep depression... It took everything in me to fight through that. Some days were really bad, I would feel every emotion I could possible. Other days I couldn't feel a thing, and those days I would spend in my bed staring out the window doing nothing...

I went to college and got a degree in physiology, and after that I decided I wanted to travel...

Of course I only went to one place because plane tickets are really expensive and after college I was practically broke. But going to Africa and helping out at an orphanage was so worth it.

I looked at the tombstone I front of me and I couldn't help but feel the tears building up in my eyes.

"Dylan I miss you so much...." I began to cry, "but I've made it. I finally can say I've made it. Oh Dylan you'd be so proud of me. I just wish I could share it all with you. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day I think about what it would be like for us if you were still alive? Would we be married? How many kids would we have? Or would we even have kids? All these things I think about... It's just so hard sometimes..."

I sat there, staring at his grave. I made sure it looked perfect. I thought back, to when Dylan was still alive. He started joking around saying when he dies he wants his grave to have free wifi so more people would visit him.

I laughed at the thought of that. Well more like hiccuped at the thought because I was trying my best not to cry again.

After about an hour and a half of sitting with Dylan, talking and crying to him I finally decided that my time visiting him was done.

I stood up, brushing off the grass I had on my shorts and took one last look at Dylan before I headed back to my car. But not without saying something to him before I left,

"I love you Dylan"

Before I knew it I had come home, and I knew that now it was reality. It wasn't me, wishing Dylan was still alive, thinking about what my life would been like if he was still here with me. No, this was reality.

I went up to the door and before I could open it, it was opened for me. I look down and saw....

"Mommy!!!" I felt arms wrap around my leg and I chuckle to myself.