That's a Secret

Chapter 15

BECCA's POV!!!

I slowly open my eyes. I look around wondering where I am. Beside me was a sleeping Dylan who was holding my hand, and to my right my dad and brother was sleeping on chairs.

I try to sit up but I couldn't. I was too weak. It was then that I realized there was cords and tubes going inside of my body. I look down at my wrist and see a gauze.

It all came rushing back to me. From the blood to the letter, everything. I look down and see Dylan. How could I do this to him? How could I do this to anyone? I moved my eyes from Dylan to my family!

Will...oh Will! I'm so sorry. Did you see me? Did you see me when I was covered in blood?

And dad. Oh daddy. I'm sorry. You must be so disappointed in me. I'm sorry I'm suicidal. I'm sorry I did this to you father.

I look back down at Dylan and see he is moving around and mumbling something in his sleep. I couldn't quite make it out. But then he could a little louder and I could defiantly hear what he was saying.

"No...don't go...please...I love you!"

Was he talking about me? I felt really bad...I caused everyone a hard time. And I know it would've been better if it had actually worked. Now they still have to deal with me. Now I have to face up to my friends and family! This all just didn't go my way...

I squeeze Dylan's hand and he moves slightly. Then he moves his hand and rubs his eyes. He yawns and looks around the room.

Then his eyes landed on me.

"Becca?! Oh my gosh! Becca!" I see a tear slide down his cheek. And then I feel arms around me, Dylan's to be precise. I just sat there, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"We were so worried about you! Omigosh Becca thank God your alright!"

I look over at my dad and brother and see they are now awake, both of them rushing over to me.

Then the doctor and a nurse came in. I guess Dylan had called them.

"Becca how are we feeling?" The doctor asks me.

"Um I'm really tired and weak. And I little sore."

"That's normal for what you have been through. I am gonna ask you to stay here for a couple more days just to make sure you are stable. But for the most part you are recovery very well." He gives me a smile and then turns to my family, "you were very close this time..."

And with that he nodded and left the room, as did the nurse after she changed my gauze around.

I close my eyes not able to keep them open. I was so tired, and so weak.

"Dylan go home. You are dead tired." I here my dad say

"With all due respect sir, I'm not going home. I can't leave Becca sir."

"Alright, I understand"

"Do you love my sister!?" Will says excitedly.

"Yes. I love her." And with that I fell completely asleep.

***

It had been a little over a week since coming home from the hospital. When I got home there were a few rules.

1) I had to go see a councillor

2) I had to give all my sharp objects to my father and anything else that I could possibly harm myself with

3) I was to have every breakfast and diner with them and lunch with Dylan.

May only be three but they were big rules. That I knew I had to follow but it was hard giving up my blades. And I wasn't all too thrilled about the councillor thing but I knew I had no choice in the matter.

So here I am, eating breakfast with my dad, Will, and Dylan. Dylan had come over to drive to school. See Thai was my first day back.

I know what your thinking. It's been a week why haven't I gone back to school yet? Well to be honest I haven't wanted to go. And I was scared to death what everyone would say or think. I knew there were rumours going around about me.

Dylan had promised to try to stay with me for most of the day. We had almost every class together except one. It was the period right before lunch.

This last week has been hard but I haven't cut (obviously) and haven't felt suicidal at all. I think I'm making steps in the right direction.

We finished up our eggs and bacon and both of us say bye to my family and then head out the door.

We went to his truck and he opened up the door for me. I got in and he shut it. It was a small gesture but it was sweet. He's been going out of his way to make me happy. He's opened doors for me, made little sticky notes that said I was beautiful and put them everywhere in my room and school books, etc.

To be honest I was starting to have feelings for him. But I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had. I loved this. And if anything were to happen between us and it didn't work out, than not only would I have loss my boyfriend but my best friend too.

On our way to school we blasted the music and was singing our hearts out. We were very off tune might I add. But that didn't matter we were having fun.

We had played I Knew You Were Trouble, Lips Are Moving, Uptown Funk, and much to Dylan's dismay, Steal My Girl.

He still hated One Direction and hated when I put their music on but since he was trying to make me happy, he didn't make me change it! Yay!

We arrive at school right when Steal My Girl was ending. Perfect timing.

We got out of the car and I put my back pack around my one arm. Dylan came over and took my hand in his.

It's now or never I guess.