The Missing Soul

Can You Handle The Future?

        I was only sixteen then. It was weird, as soon as I had my mind up to be with Paul, Leland and his grandma moved. Before Leland left he said his goodbyes. I remember it like it was yesterday.

        "May, I'm still keeping my promise. There's also something I have been needing to give to you." 

        It was a locket, a little banged up and it looked like an older piece of jewlery. Inside the locket was a man and a woman. The couple had a resemblance to Leland and I. The man had dark, dark hair just like Leland did. He was wearing a top hat and a nice suit. The woman had long brown hair in a braid. And there was another picture, it looked way older than the first picture. In fact, it was a small little painting of a woman with short, brown hair and the man stunningly looked almost identical to Leland. It was a little more harder to make it out, still it was amazing. 

        "I gave you this in every life. The picture is Henry and Evelyn, us in the 20's. And the painting is Stanley and Annabelle." 

        I didn't care about what would happen at that moment. I kissed Leland. He saved this locket all these years to give to me. I will cherish this forever and always. 

        I never found out where Leland and his grandma moved. I prayed every night before I went to sleep that they were ok and that Leland still loved me as much as I loved him.

         Yeah, Paul showered me with gifts and did everything to make me happy. We graduated high school, he got a job working in a factory, and we married. 

        Have you ever felt a dread walking down an aisle, in a beautiful white dress, surrounded by all your loved ones, and then, you see your groom? He's not who you imagined in your mind you would be walking down the aisle to? I wasn't happy on my wedding day. I smiled like I was. I faked laughter and smiled so much my cheeks hurt. Every second or so I had to quickly blink away the tears. I'm not even going to lie, Paul was a great husband and provider. Maybe I should've been more grateful, at least I didn't wind up with an abusive prick. So, how exactly do you feel when the real love of your life is out there somewhere? How do you feel when you're just.... Pretending. A word to describe my life was pretend and I resented it. 

        

        It's been 30 years since my wedding day. I'm 48 years old and so is Paul. We had three children, I loved them all dearly. 

        Adeline was Paul and I's first daughter, she is twenty three years old. 

        Saunder is our boy and he is nineteen years old.

        Malee is my babygirl and she is sixteen years old. 

        I have adjusted to living this life. Everyday I think of Leland and what we could've been. I don't regret having my children, they are my everything. And I do have love for Paul. He is a great man, he deserves a woman who actually doesn't feel like she has to pretend. 

        I respected Paul. I'm not sure if deep down he knew I wanted Leland. My heart would always belong to Leland. I will wait for him forever if I have to. 

        Will I wait forever? Will there be a happy ending?