Guardians of the Heart

50. This Is Not the End of Me

     Aurelia shook her head as I walked out through the double doors, “Jordana, you are here.”

                I walked through the crowd as I went for the stage.

                I didn’t look over at Christian and his family as I stepped up on the stage.

                “Jordana, are you ok?” Aurelia looked at me.

                “Move, now.” I looked back at her.

                Aurelia stepped out of the way as I turned back to the people that were infront of us.

                “For years, I have never wanted to be here. For years, I never loved this place. I hated living here and I hated the people that were in this place. You sit infront of me tonight expecting so much from me when I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what is needed of me since my parents’ were killed too early before they had the chance to explain to me that I wasn’t human. That I wasn’t normal, that the stuff that happened to me when I was younger was just something inside of me shifting, that I wasn’t a freak like this town pinned me to be. It was a few people that looked at me like I was the town mistake that I fucked up pretty good with my actions. But I never got the chance to figure it out that I was ok that I was something so powerful and strong that I didn’t need people looking at me with smiles to tell me that I was going to be ok. I struggled a lot living here, I had people from different walks of life beating me down, I had strangers acting like I brought a plague to this town. I didn’t know years later I would be their only way of living. I didn’t know that with my guidance and abilities that you all would need me.

“That my family name would be a reason for me to stand up here tonight; I always thought that last name would be something to have people look at me differently. I didn’t know that it would be a reason for me to stand up here and say that I will take my family place in the court and that I will do whatever I have to do to make sure the Darkness does not raise.”

                I finally looked down at Cassie, Aurelia, Natalie, and Alaska.

                “My family is gone. My father was killed, my mother was murdered infront of me, and my brother was taken from me too long ago. My brother should be standing up here infront of you telling you how excited he is to run this. My brother was a great man and he was an amazing brother. He loved everyone and everything. He was such a pure soul. Nothing ever hurt him and he never hurt anyone.”

                I looked back at Graham and Boone.

                “Watching so much of my life be ripped from me was a horror that I hated. Watching my friend die in my arms because the Darkness wanted me back here was a horror that I will never get off my skin as her blood has stained my hands for the rest of my life. But I stand here and I say that her blood has stained me but she wasn’t the only one that her blood has touched my skin. People look at me like I'm the daughter that slept with the guy that was a little older than her, but they don’t realize the stories and the realities that we both hid with each other,  The things that have been taken from us both and the other things that we will never see again.”

                I glanced back at Christian and his family.

                “Our names say what we can and cannot have in this world. I watch people suffer because of us. I see them struggle for what we have done to them. I won't have that anymore. I won't have the classes so different that the poor have to suffer like they did back in England. This is a new era and I won't have this anymore. I won't lead a group into that kinda world that we have become what we have tried so hard to get away from. Look at how we live and look at the reality of what we escaped. We are the royal families but we act no better than the Darkness.”