Watching my girlfriend move around the apartment, I enjoy the sight of her.
I wouldn't think I would, but I do. I thought I would be jealous or feel weird about what we did together, but I don't. There's no jealousy or anger or any of the things I probably should feel after what happened between us. Must be a sign that I've matured over the years. That I've grown as a person and don't feel the things I used to when I was younger. If this had been a few years ago, I definitely would be feeling a lot more insecure and uncertain about things... but I don't.
Dawn and I are in a good place in our relationship. We trust each other. We love each other. Neither of us has to worry about feeling anything other than love after what we did. Our relationship is solid. That was proven not only by the other night, but by the fact that we could have this type of conversation without getting angry or upset about it. All we had to do is talk things through and know that it's all about making us happier. I want Dawn to be happy. I want to be happy, especially with her. And I think we finally are.
Especially after the other night. Dawn picked the right guy to ask to join us so she could explore herself and the things she wanted. He knew exactly what he was doing and how to do it. I was definitely left satisfied after that night. And from my conversation with Dawn in the morning, she was satisfied too. She got what she wanted out of it.
Apparently, she likes the idea of doing that again some time, maybe with him or with someone else, but she's still very much committed to girls, and me in particular. Not that there was really any doubt about that, but she felt the need to say it to reassure me just in case there was on my part. But there wasn't, and I made sure she knew it. I'm completely comfortable with what happened and all the things that went down, including me.
As a slayer, I'm always on. I always have to be in control and make decisions. There was something kinda liberating about giving up some of that and just enjoying myself in a way I don't usually get to do. I might even be open to doing it again from time to time, depending on the situation. Since it'll be with Dawn, I know I can let loose a little more and do things I wouldn't normally be able to. I can trust her to respect my boundaries and she knows that I'll respect hers.
That's what it means to be in love. What it means to be happy, and we are.
Suddenly, I notice Dawn looking at me from the doorway of our bedroom.
"What?"
"Nothing, just enjoying the sight of my girlfriend. Much like you've been for the past few minutes."
She's not wrong about that.
"Can you blame me? You are quite the sight."
She chuckles at that.
"I know."
Her declaration has me laughing a little myself while she makes her way into the room.
"I'm glad you're so confident about it."
"Well I heard somewhere that confidence is sexy in a woman."
Again she has me laughing.
"It is when it's coming from you."
Dawn closes the distance between us and sits down on the couch with me, laying her head on my shoulder.
"You had a lot to do with that you know."
"I played my part, but it's you who did most of the work."
"If you say so."
We fall into silence for a while.
"Did you find everything you were looking for? To work things through with Willow?"
"As far as I can tell anyway. I'm sure when we actually get down to it, we'll find things we didn't plan on. Things we didn't know we needed."
"You'll work it out. You and Willow have some of the best brains in the world when it comes to this type of thing. If anyone can figure it out, it's you two."
"Still, it might take us a while to go through everything. Make sure we don't miss anything and do some real damage. It could take us all night. You gonna be okay without me?"
I laugh at her question.
"I'll find a way to survive. You go have fun with Willow. Tire yourself out with all the books and discussion and foreign languages and all that. We need a little good old fashion mischief after all the happiness and relaxing."
"Things are too relaxed for you? I figured after the mischief we got up to the other night, you'd be more than entertained for a while."
That's not what I meant.
"Oh I am. The other night was definitely entertaining. But that doesn't mean I couldn't use a little more every now and then. Keep things interesting."
She doesn't say anything for a minute.
"You're sure you're okay with what happened? I know we talked about it in the morning. But after a few days, get a little distance from it and..."
I turn towards her so we can look in each other's eyes.
"Hey, you don't have to worry. Everything about it was great. I had a good time. Are you sure you're okay with it?"
The smile she gives me at my words turns to a grin.
"Absolutely. I loved it as much as you did. And I love you for being open enough to let me try it."
"Of course. All I want is for you to be happy."
"I am happy. You make me happy."
Leaning forward, we kiss happily. After a while, we pull back from each other. Both of us just bask in the beauty of the moment.
"Okay, I think I have to go."
"Don't want to be late to make things more fun for all of us, do you?"
She stands up and starts making her way to the door, picking up a few things on the way.
"Have fun."
"I will."
I'm so happy right now.
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