Chapter 21
Harry’s P.O.V
The music blasted through my ears as I sped down the highway, enraged. Knuckles white from gripping the wheel, I took a sharp turn down a dark dirt road. How could you have been so stupid? I thought to myself. I was fuming, but for some reason I was more mad at myself than anything. I had fallen into a trap again, and I knew there was no way out of it. Why was I so stuck on Lou? We had only known eachother for a little over two weeks now, and I just couldn’t stay away. I was too attached, and it was entirely my fault. As I slowed my car down, I took another right, and turned onto a road with a large gate looming over it.. My headlights illuminated the black, rusted bars that made up the large entryway. “Sheppards Cemetary” the words across the top read. I looked at the words, and I knew I had remembered the route correctly. Slowly pulling forward, I drove down the middle of the morbid and silent plain of headstones, searching for the right one. When I finally found it, I pulled my sideways so that it’s lights were on the gravestone. I got out, and walked over to the small memorial I had visited too many times before. Taking in a deep breath, I came to a stop in front of the headstone, and sat down on my knees, leaning my head on the cold rock of the momento. It was only the first days of January, and the crisp winter air bit my nose, but in this moment, I couldn’t feel anything. I came here to get away, to get answers from the only person I had ever depended on, and to stop feeling for a little bit. Turning, I sat back against the headstone, layed my head back, and closed my eyes. I let the silence surround me, and I strained to breathe through the dry, freezing air. I sat forward, brought my knees up, and put my head in my hands. I couldn’t hold back anymore. The tears pushed through my eyelids, and my nose was running uncontrollably. “What do I do mom?” I gasped in a whimper. For some reason I expected a response, but as the minutes went on, there never was one. “I can’t do this anymore, not without you” I mouthed, my voice lost through the sobs. There wasn’t going to be a response, but right now, being here was enough. Wiping the rest of the tears from my eyes, I turned back to face the headstone, and laid one last kiss on the top before I left. I took in the time I had with her, running my fingers over the engraving on the rock. “Anne Cox. Devoted Mother, Loving Wife, Unforgettable Friend.” Standing to my feet, I took one last glance, and made my way back to my truck. I didn’t think about Lou anymore on the way home. My mind was blank, and my body only felt the unbearable pain of the loss of my mother. It had already been 1 year since she died. I was 18 now, and she was all I had left after my father left. When I finally got home, I didn’t let my mind wander towards Lou. My mom had always told me “You are my sun, and if anyone belittles your shine, they don’t deserve your warmth”. The only reason I hadn’t completely let myself go is because I continuously had those words on replay in my head, to keep me going. When I got to bed, I let only one thought slip of Lou before I fell asleep. Tonight, she had belittle my shine, and I wasn’t planning on giving her another opportunity to do so.
