Hugs, Wishes and Butterfly Kisses [ Giyushino One-Shots ]

Hate

It's not okay.

Or

A vent fic

A/N: Vent fic

Modern au kinda

WARNING: Angst, sadness, possible panic attack idk.

-linebreak-

Giyuu hates this. He hates it, hates all of it. It's so fucking stupid why is he getting upset over something so small like this it's so fucking stupid. Yet here he is, about to cry his fucking eyes out because today wasn't going his way.

It was supposed to be a good day, it was supposed to now it isn't. Now he's crying in the back room of a place that isn't even his having a breakdown over some minor inconvenience.

Already had so much to do, so much work to catch up on he caught up but it doesn't mean he did it well and he hates himself for it. He tried to take a bath but because he didn't take one fucking sooner- because it's always his fault, even when it isn't, it is- now someone's taking his, taking the water he put in the tub, using the same bathroom he was going to use now it's all going to be cold and that's the last thing he needs, he just wants to be warm for once in his life.

And then he tries to watch a fucking movie but of course it doesn't work but it works in all the other rooms and the last person who used it has the nerve to say that it isn't their problem. You used it fucking last how is it not your problem? And that's not even mentioning that he's hungry, he had to go to sleep soon for work tomorrow and has so many things to do it's to fucking many at once.

It's so overwhelming he hates it. Hates it hates it hates it.

His breathing hitches as he feels a sharp pain in his chest and his lungs, total concentration breathing isn't supposed to be stopped like that, or else there'll be consequences; he's suffering them. His wide eyes start to burn as he lets out an open-mouthed gasp, straining for air, body shuddering at the sudden drop of temperature, his hands are shaky as his skin starts to grow cold. Right, the technique also increases temperature as well.

He claws at his chest because it feels like his heart is about to be ripped out of his chest, why did his body think this was a good idea to do something like that?

It's so cold, it's all so cold. Everything hurts and before he knows it the burning in the corner of his eyes turns to tears that keep on dripping and dripping. His body shutters and shakes as small noises escape his lips but he's going to be as quiet as he can so no one will find him, no one goes back here unless necessary so they probably won't ever will.

But someone does, oh thank god someone does he's never been more thankful but sorry at the same time. He needs someone right now but he's so sorry someone has to deal with him because he really isn't worth it.

A soft hands grab at his and draw slow circled in them, offering him the chance to pull away, why would he? Why would he pull away this day has been awful is it so bad for him to want to be held yet he almost does because this is the last state he wants to be seen in. He doesn't want any pity, doesn't want to start an argument because he got upset over something so fucking stupid.

Tomioka's breath hitches as warm arms wrap around him and he can't help but lean into them. Tears fall freely with what seems no ending in sight. Will he ever stop crying? He isn't sure, but he has to he doesn't want anyone to see him like this but now she has and he feels utterly shameful.

He's pathetic, a mistake, a stain on the Earth no one likes him she shouldn't have to suffer trying to take care of him.

Yet here she is taking up that burden.

He feels sorry for her, someone as kind as her doesn't deserve this.

"Giyuu-san, are you alright?" He can only let out a small, pathetic sound akin to a whine and he hates himself for it. He's anything but fine, no far from it.

Today's been stressful, had to finish doing all the work he couldn't finish because he was sick and he had just tried to finish it as quick as he could which means he half-assed which means Oyakata-sama is going to be disappointed in him, he's going to be mad, he's going to hate him. He wouldn't blame him for hating him, he's a hateable person really, a horrible person really. But that's not mentioning the fact that for breakfast and lunch he only had something that can be considered a snack and hasn't had an actual meal in a while.

Really, he could just go to bed without eating no one would know, could probably do with losing a couple of pounds.

It isn't healthy, he knows it is his mind tells him he shouldn't do it and he doesn't but what if he did? Then would people like him?

Why doesn't anyone like him? What did he do to deserve this why can't he just have a good day? Why does everyone have to leave him ? Why does everything have to go wrong? Why?

Why?

She's kissing his face, his cheeks, trying her best to wipe away the tears he's given up on wiping away. It all just seems to pointless. Warm arms wrap around him, he feels warm, he likes being warm. He likes being hugged. He likes being touched. It's been a while since someone hugged him he likes it.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Thickly swallowing, he nods, not trusting his own voice to speak.

That sounds nice.

That sounds lovely.

"Uzui-san's finally out of the baths by the way, I thought you'd like to know."

Oh.

That's even better. After he eats he knows what he's going to do. Take. A bubble bath cause fuck he's deserved one, take a hot one, burn his fucking skin off while he's at it.

"I can start you one while you eat," Really your doing to much, you shouldn't bother with someone like me.

Although he doesn't trust his voice, he speaks up, his voice low and shaky at best. "Don't,"

But she just grabs his hand, squeezing it, softly smiling at him with eyes full of care and comfort. "Let me help take care of you."

"I don't wish to burden you,"

She squeezes his hand even tighter. "Not to me, it'll never be if it's you."

He can only nod because if he speaks he's sure he start sobbing again because god he hasn't felt this loved in so many fucking years it hurts.

She moves up to kiss his cheek and with a nod from him they slowly start to move along. It's a blur to him, but at the end of the blur he falls asleep in her arms at the end of the night, warmth wrapped tightly around him and he feels better, he feels okay.

He feels better. He feels okay.

He's happy.