neolhada ➸ hyungwonho ✔

30.1; Pre Final

He looks like an angel that sent from above. At my young age, I never been felt so overwhelmed. For nine years existing in this world. I never thought that this could be.. love?

Mom left me in the playground to do some errands that she left from home. He made me promise that I should only stay here until she came back to pick me up.

One boy just appeared in front of me. Warm smiles. He extend his hands on me.

"Do you wanna play with us?" again with those warm smiles. His eyes were slightly close and his cheeks so puff that I could pull it and want to squeeze it.

I only nod. Just mesmerises on his glowing look.

"Good. By the way I'm Hyungwon" I held his hand as he pulled me from where I am sitting.

"My name is.. Wonho.."

....

He is dumb. Yeah a big dumb. He always get into fight just because of girl.. Did he even realize. I was here for his whole life?

How can he? He was busy flirting and be with his girls.

I was just a friend.

A friend..

---

I grabbed his both shoulder and lean closer to his face. I wanted to understood him and at the same time I was so worried to him.

When he just close his eyes and lean more closer to me and he just put his lips on me. He was kissing me not until I gave in. I kissed him back. I don't know but I felt all the chances I have now.

I've wanted to kiss him like this so bad. But then he push me away. Looks like he little sober up. But I didn't just mind him. Even he blurted a sorry to me.

I started to drive and going back to our house. I didn't control my urge to make him mine.

The first mistake I've did.

And the worst was.. we continue doing it without giving him any valid reason.

I was the blame why we are in that situation.

I took all the chances.. wrong and took advantage on him.. in the following days..

But believe me. I tried to fight my urge. But the feeling I might lose him.

I felt it was just mistake that night. What if Hyungwon see me only his friend??

---

All of the sudden. I felt suffocate.. this was all wrong..

I wanted to get out..

Finally Minhyuk reach on me and help me to find way to get out..

---

I lose. He is with Minhyuk now.

Its all my fault.

I wasn't honest to myself.

I let him.. hate me..

I let him... that way..

If only I got the courage..

I only told him that he was the biggest mistake.. I did. I made him mad at me. I made jt more worst..

But honestly.. it was me. I was that biggest mistake...

---

He told me he love me too. It wasn't that one side love. But why did he only tell me sooner or earlier???

Why???

Its too late now..

---

I begged.

Even I look a piece of shit.

I tried my best to have him by myself.

But I end up hurting him.

He was happy now with someone. Finally happy with someone now.

I tried to ruin it.

But it made worst... it made him to hate me more..

---

I would lie.

I lie..

I'm still into him.

That didn't change..

"Should I gave you up?"

But he gave up.

I regret.. I wish I could go back to the old time. We can still fix each other. We became each other poisons.

I do love you..