vacancy screams from my bedroom door | lil peep

10 | fucked up

e-transfer from GUSTAV ÅHR | $3,000

plane ticket + to take care of you till i'm home

ava didn't want gus' money, ava wanted her old gus back. most importantly she wanted a drug free and healthy gus, but there was about a one in a billion chance that would ever happen. "should i take it?" ava asked smoke, who was taking her to the airport. "yes, he's hurting just as much as you are right now ava. at least let him feel like he's doing something that won't let you down" smoke told her. "i guess so" she said, hesitantly accepting the money.

"you're sure you wanna go home? we can get you a separate room if you just need a bit of space?" smoke offered her, "i'm sure" ava said. "you'll keep him safe right? make sure he's okay for me." ava asked, "of course" smoke told her. ava knew it would probably hurt gus that she was leaving, but it hurt her too. it would also hurt her to stay, so she really didn't know what to do. "bye aves" smoke said, dropping her off at the door "safe travels kiddo, we all love you and will miss you. please tell someone when you get home at least" smoke told her, "bye, thank you and i will" ava told him, then walking off into the airport.

tracy was still sat with gus on the hotel room floor. gus had no will to stand up, or even speak really. his eyes burned, turning red from the tears. smoke joined them when he returned to the hotel, "she's there safe" smoke told gus, he just nodded. the three of them sat on the floor in almost silence for almost two hours, that's what gus needed, to not be alone. "i know it's hard buddy, but i think this is best for both of you right now. she's not gone, she's waiting for you at home" smoke told gus. gus finally stood up, "you okay?" tracy asked. gus just nodded. he went to stand on the balcony, lighting a joint. except for this time when he turned around ava wasn't asleep in the bed.

it was late now, tracy and smoke left gus to go to bed. they would check on him in the morning.

ava

home safe

smoke

we miss ya already

gus sat on the hotel bed. hotels do kind of suck, he thought. always just a little too cold, beds made too perfectly, the pillows were too fluffy and the vents were just loud enough it was irritating when it was silent at night. gus dug through his bag, finding what he was looking for. a little plastic baggie with some little white pills inside. gus dumped them in his hand, staring at the white rectangles with xanax imprinted on them. was it worth it? he thought. "fuck it" he said to himself out loud, swallowing each of the pills one by one. it didn't take much longer for the feeling of heaviness to set in over gus' body, slouching back on the headboard of the bed. his eyes struggled to stay open, breathing shallow breaths as he felt his emotions detach from him. eventually blacking out completely on the bed.

"gus wake up" smoke said, "gus" he said again, "wake up". smoke shook his limp arm arounf, trying to get him up. "gus, wake up. i can literally see you breathing so don't play dead on me here" smoke said, growing impatient with a still passed out gus. a few minutes later gus started to come to, "finally" smoke said, "what the fuck did you take last night?" smoke asked, in a disapproving tone. "nothing" gus lied. "i just flopped you around like a dead fish for 10 minutes and you didn't wake up. bullshit" smoke told him, "just tired man" gus said.

gus didn't see anyone else until the show that night. gus took more pills, and more pills, and more pills once he started to feel them wear off. gus stumbled through backstage, slurring incoherent words back whenever somone greeted him. the stage manager ran up to him, "there you are, been looking all over. you're on now" the man said, dragging gus to the stage. gus knew he was in no shape to preform, but he had no choice now. the beat rung in his ears, he tried his best to get the words out. girl you got me fucked up, one chance and i fucked it up, i was fucked up, baby i've been fucked up. his fans cheered him on from the audience, singing every beat he missed.

tracy stood at the end of the stage watching his friend struggle to keep himself together. "i can't" gus managed to mumble to tracy. "i know" tracy said, taking the mic from his hand and pulling gus off the stage. tracy went out for his set, "sorry guys, peep isn't feeling too great tonight. i'll check in with him at the end and see if he's up for a song" he told the crowed, who just cheered and clapped no matter what he said.

*tw puke/emetophobia*

wiggy took gus off stage, "peep, man? are you okay?" he asked, he'd seen gus fucked up but never like this. "bathroom?" gus said, wiggy helped his stumbling friend through the crowd. gus hunched over the toilet, throwing his guts up from all the pills. wiggy tossed him a bottle of water from the fridge in the hall. "thanks wigs" he told him. gus sat for a few minutes, trying to collect himself a little. "feeling better?" wiggy asked, "a little" gus said, with some of the xanax out of his system.

gus had some water and food and walked around a bit, he felt well enough now to return to everyone else. "gus you wanna hit a song?" tracy asked him, "did we not?" gus said, confused. him and tracy always had at least one song together. "do you not remember bro? that was like an hour ago, you got half way through a song and i had to take you off stage" tracy told him, "no not really?" gus said, the most of the last two days had been a blur. he still probably wouldn't remember right now tomorrow. "yeah we can do a song" gus said.

ava sat at home, scrolling through instagram. she saw a video of gus' concert from tonight in her feed and decided to watch it. her heart shattered into a thousand pieces as she watched gus on her screen. he looked like a zombie, he could hardly keep his own head up let alone sing.

ava

you said you'd take care of him what the fuck happened tonight

smoke

we're trying, but we can't watch his every move and he just disappears

tracy

he's doing better now

ava was freaking out, she'd never seen him quite like that. maybe leaving was a bad idea. half of her was pissed at him for continuing to drown himself in drugs and the other half was worried sick and considering booking a ticket back just to see if he's okay. she didn't know how to get him to stop besides just dropping him off at rehab and not telling him where he's going. she missed him, and she loved him and she wanted to be together again but she knew she couldn't go back yet.

a/n

sorry for da late update a bitch is tired. i'll try and get a second one done today but prolly won't tbh

chapter question: do u have any pets? i have 4