tonight was gus' first show, he was hyped to begin performing live and meeting fans. he wouldn't be here without them after all. gus bounced between the rest of the guys, trying to plan for tonight and ava, for some moral support. gus had been smoking all day to calm his nerves, "do you not think you've had enough of those?" ava asked as he lit another. "no" gus said bluntly. "okay then" ava said, knowing she'd never win. gus knew ava hated his habits, but he would never stop.
there was about an hour till the show, ava didn't love being backstage. everyone was drunk or high, or both. a bunch of random girls she had never seen before lurked around the guys like they were stalking pray or something. however, gus didn't even bat an eye at them so she wasn't too worried. it was too loud and too crammed with sweaty bodies. "i'm going to the bathroom, be right back" ava told gus. "okay, text me if you get lost or something" gus told her, "okay, i think i can manage though" ava laughed.
"slut" one of the random girls from before mumbled to her as they passed in the hall, "huh?" ava said confused, what did she do to her? "it's so easy to tell you're using peep for his money and clout, get a life whore" the girl said to her. "i've been with him since before his music blew up, and we love each other, fuck off" ava told the girl and walked off. she had already had enough confrontation for one night.
ava
mission accomplished, made it too the bathroom lmao
gus
hurry i miss u
ava returned to backstage, looking for gus' pink hair in the crowd. it was always the easiest way to find him. she found him standing near a wall with smoke and tracy, "ah would you look at that, christopher columbus has returned from his travels around the globe" gus said in goofy voice "shut up i was gone for like 10 minutes" ava said. the energy in the room was so strong you could feel it in the air, it was only lit up enough to just make out people's faces with a few coloured strobe lights going off. ava stayed close to gus, tracy and smoke, chatting with whoever came up and found them.
"you're on in 5" some guy in all black with a clipboard and headset came and told gus. "let's do this shit" gus said, stopping and doing a line off the table with tracy before he went on. "keep her safe back here" gus told smoke, "i got her, no worries" he told him. "you'll do great, i love you" ava told gus. "i love you" gus said before being ushered on stage.
"if no one told you, don't take anything anyone gives you. not that i think you would, just being safe" smoke told ava. "okay, thanks" she told him. ava watched gus on stage, he looked like he'd been doing it for 10 years it came so naturally to him. he sang his heart out and you could really see his passion for his craft. it was her first time watching him on stage and she loved it, all of the distractions in the background just went away. it was mesmerizing.
tracy came on and off the stage whenever he had a to do a verse on one of gus' songs, "gus told me to tell you he loves you" tracy said, exiting the stage again. a few more songs later gus finished his set and adam took his place on the stage, audrey going to the same place ava had stood.
"that was amazing" ava told gus, wrapping her arms around him. she could tell gus was proud of himself, he knew he killed it. "adam has one more song, then chris, then we're done" smoke stopped and told gus.
gus wandered off to start partying again, leaving ava with smoke. "he'll settle, just let him have his fun for a few shows" he told her, "i'll believe it when i see it" she rolled her eyes a little, where there was party, drugs and chaos to be found there was also gus to be found. she loved him more than anything in the world, but it was hard taking care of someone who was almost never sober while simultaneously watching the love of your life slowly poison themselves to death.
ava sat quietly and lifelessly next to gus most of the night, occasionally getting up to stretch her legs or talk to audrey. she sucked it up for him, but it was already getting old fast. "bus is here and ready to go" some random venue worker told us.
the same shit continued on the bus, with slightly fewer people. ava retreated to the bathroom for a break from all the noise. a little while later there was a few taps on the door, ava quickly opened it assuming someone needed it. she opened the door to audrey, "you okay girl? i noticed you disappeared" audrey asked her. "yeah i'm fine, just needed a break from all this" ava said, motioning to the main area of the bus. "yeah i feel you, you'll get used to it though" audrey told her. ava sure hoped she was right. "can i just like vent to you?" ava asked her friend, audrey turned to her looking concerned, "of course, whats up" audrey asked. "it's just hard you know, watching him do this to himself... and he doesn't even care. i can't do anything but watch knowing it'll probably kill him eventually" ava was choking back tears at this point. "i know it's hard, but it's not your fault and you can't beat yourself up for it. you can't save a drug addict aves, unless they want to be saved. and gus doesn't want to be. all you can do is keep loving him" audrey told her. she knew audrey was right, it was just hard to accept the truth.
ava went to bed alone that night, gus was out partying and doing god knows what until ungodly hours of the morning. he'd come back eventually but spend most of the day asleep, hung over or still fucking high. this cycle continued show, after show, after show. maybe being on the road wasn't all she thought it would be.
a/n
posted this like 3 hours later than i said i would my bad
i've worked everyday since friday and i work every day until this friday and they r all 8 hour shifts and its DURING A SALE i will have no soul left by the end of the week
chapter question: what's something weird ur kinda scared of? for me it's literally children. i have no idea how to handle them and they scare me and i hate them i would not hesitate to punt one like a football
YOU ARE READING
vacancy screams from my bedroom door | lil peep
Fanfiction-"now that i'm back on the road, you're in your bed all alone"
