The Healer Who Needed Healing

Pregame

III. Pregame

    The rest of the day seemed to just drag by and my classes after lunch went faster than usual. I had Spanish with Mary-Kay and Lacora for the fourth hour and I would say it was my struggle hour. Even though I was fairly good at Spanish and I had no issue with learning the language I found myself, on this particular day, begging for the school day to be over already so I could go warm up and get ready to kick some Ram butt (River Plain Highschool’s mascot. The previous year the Varsity before I moved up lost to them 17-0 and then when I moved up we played them the first game in the state tournament and lost 16-15. 

    “Octavia?” Kealy says walking up to me. I didn’t realize that I jumped when she called my name but I did.

    “What’s up?” I respond on the fly. I catch Kyler looking at me from the corner of my eye making me aware that he noticed my sudden jolt.

    “Can you help me with this question on the Spanish assignment?”

    “Sure. I won’t do it for you but I can help you” I respond.

    The problems were easy to fix and explain so it didn’t take long. I went back to my thoughts and watched the baseball highlight reel that I always watched on game day so I could get my mind right. Before this last summer had happened and space was a thing between Lacora and Mary-Kay laughter was abundant for me and now I barely have the ability to have my real smile shine. Yes, I could smile at school and pretend everything was fine but it really wasn’t. My heart was hurting and when I thought it would stop a song or memory would pop up and I am back to square one. I think Kyler felt my tense thoughts rising and falling because suddenly he’s holding my hand looking into my eyes and speaking. 

“Hey” he whispers, getting my attention “it’s in the past, it’s okay to let it stay there.

Laughter was the best thing for me, I would and could admit that I could finally relax and enjoy myself when I could laugh with those girls. 

    It was after my 5th hour class, Kyler and I walked through the hall together. I felt bad when he walked with me because I knew he would be late to his class if I kept him too long but I also really enjoyed having his company in the hallway. Kind of strange to think about it but when he and I walk together it feels as if it’s just the two of us and no one else occupies the hallway. But when I am alone I am just another face in the crowd that everyone knows as the jock or the try hard. We liked to talk about small things in the hallway because we didn’t trust other people. That was fine with me anyways. When we got to my class he looked at me and I stayed quiet. I then looked down at the floor and moved my foot like I always did when I was thinking or nervous of what to do next. 

    “Good luck today” he then says as he starts to walk away. I then grab his arm in an instant and pull him into me making him nearly lose balance and hug him. His heart was pounding like it usually did and I realized how much I liked to hug him.

    “Thank you,” I responded. His arms go around my back making me feel safe in his tight hug all over again.

“Of course. Ten more days until your birthday” he reminds me then separates from me and walks away. I smile and go into the classroom and Mrs. Hidington greets me with a smile.

   

Later that Day

My music was blasting in Danny, who was “my car” to borrow from my parents, as I drove to the complex for my home game against River Plain Highschool. It was quite amazing what music did to me. I had a terrible day and it brought me up. Music was like Kyler. Or is it the other way around? Pft, big goof. I smile as 10,000 hours comes on and I turn it up even louder and scream the lyrics. This is life. Me and my boyfriend- well my bats are my other boyfriends. Then my gloves are my other, best friends and my catcher's gear are my bodyguards. Ha! I am a celebrity! I have bodyguards! Oh be quiet! “Hey!” I then say out loud and turn the music down and I slow down and see a familiar truck in front of me. “Is that Kyler?!” I say out loud again. “Oh my gosh it is!!” I yell. Just as I get excited about that Circles by Post Malone comes on and I smile even bigger and turn it up. Today’s game is going to be good. I can just feel it. I then pull off the road and follow Kylers truck into the parking lot and it hits me. “That turkey!” I yell. “He doesn’t have to come right now! What the heck is he doing!” I pulled into the back row parking spaces where my team always parked and had a tailgate party and jam to music. 

    “Octavia!!!” Julia and Madilyn yell as I get out. I laugh feeling relieved. Why am I so tense? Relax. Go to that place. It’s calm. It’s cool and quiet. No worries, just breathe. I open my eyes then haul my gear onto my back and begin to walk up with my team and we are smiling as Amber, one of the seniors carries the speaker with the music for us to be calm and excited with. I was smiling. This is what made me unable to trade my world with anyone else. It was good to be me.