The Healer Who Needed Healing

Kidnapped

        Sometimes you joke around with your friends about hey I am going to kidnap you and you won’t have a choice but to go with me, what a silly concept. You can really scare a friend when you come up to their house and you say you are coming with me. You don’t know where, what, or where we are going. You are just going with me. I can openly admit that two nights before my birthday, my boyfriend Kyler, did exactly that.
    Some days you have weird itches where you know people are following you or you feel the intense energy of someone watching you. Yes, at times that is rather scary but other times, if you know who it is, it is quite reassuring that there is someone watching over you. I remember I was walking out of the house in the middle of the night. I wasn’t sure what drew me outside, but there was something about that night that made me want to be outside. So I grabbed my blanket from when I was a baby and curled up on the drive. Maybe it was the dream that caused me to come out here, maybe there is something that Kyler or God is wanting me to see. What is it? I then take a deep breath of the cold spring air and I feel refreshed and relaxed as I look up at the stars on that clear night. I could see the little dipper and the big dipper, the handle was pointed to the east making it read 3 o’clock. What am I doing out here? My mom and dad will kill me for leaving the house! Gosh but I can’t go in yet. I can’t sleep with that nightmare of me running through the woods and pulling up and shooting the elk. Ugh, then I have to walk up and see that I didn’t shoot the elk. I shot Lacora, the one I used to call family. Dang it, she may have brought me tons of pain but I still wouldn’t want to hurt her. I think, as a few tears begin to fall but legitimate crying never follows because I am just numb in general. I could hear footsteps but at that point it didn’t matter to me because I knew I could hear my own heart and I also could hear the paces. Kyler.
    “Come out, I can hear you” I then say as I sob and wipe the tear away, giving him the chance to realize that I blew his cover.
    “Crap, how’d you know?” he curses as he comes and wraps his arms around me for comfort.
    “Since you have that knee injury, your steps are a little on the rough side. They have a certain beat to them. You know? It’s like a song you have a tempo to your steps” I respond leaning into his shoulder which turns into a hug.
    “Hmm. I guess I haven’t thought about that. That's a really smart.”
    “Thanks. Sorry to ruin the moment but what are you doing here? Like yes I know you’re staying with us but how’d you hear me leave the house?” I say whispering.
    “I don’t know I want to run away with you. I am going to take you with me.” Not sure what to say exactly, nor what to think I look at him quizzically. I studied his face before I could sort my thoughts and make an answer, his eyes are so gorgeous with the stars shining in them. Ugh stop getting side tracked. Focus. Why is he wanting to run away, why does he even care to take me with him? Like yeah we say we love each other but why would he want me to go with him?
    “Where are we going, why do you want me to go?”
    “Do I have to answer that question? I want you to go because you’re my girl and you’re the only family I have” he says, beginning to smile.
    “You’re too sweet. Okay sure, I’ll run away with you but where are we going?” I say getting a little worried because he doesn’t usually act like this.
    “Not telling you, the thing is I am kidnapping you, but it’s not kidnapping because I got your consent.” He then retorts as he picks me up. I flinch not sure how to react to him picking me up, especially since no one has really done that to me. My dad did once or twice throughout my life but I usually walked, even if I was sick.
    “Don’t worry. I won’t drop you. I made that promise remember?” He reassures me when he notices my flinch.
    My heart dropped and I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t find words to his comment and now I was embarrassed that I couldn’t say anything. “I’m speechless,” I finally whispered to him. I placed my arms around his neck so I wouldn’t fall.
    “I knew you would be. That’s why I said it.” I smile because he knew me so well and it was crazy to be known that well. I can’t get over someone still being here after I have told them about every shortcoming, mistake, accident, sin, and tragedy in my life. It almost hurt my heart to realize that. “Are you going to be okay?” He says suddenly.
    “Of course I will be, I am with you. I’m not in bed dreaming about all of the nasty dreams that I have” I say instantly regretting it. To me it came out short and rude, so I embraced myself for a scold and my muscles contract.
    “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Don’t worry about what you said, it didn’t hurt me” Kyler whispers in my ear, making me feel a little shaky and at the same time warm. Why are you shaking? Stop. Just stop shaking, he won’t hurt you. He knows what you meant and that I didn’t mean to snap. Ugh. Help me relax… A tear sneaks out of my eyes, and others begin to follow so I hug his neck closer and let the sobbs roll out his arms tighten around me and I don’t have the tense feeling of not being able to relax anymore. My tears were still falling when I realized he and I were sitting in truck while he was watching me closely. Then his hand comes up to my face and his thumb wipes a few tears off my cheek, more continue when he decides to kiss me gently and slowly. I then give into a very small smile which makes me confused, I lean my head on the front of his shoulder and I apologize. “Don’t be sorry. I can take it, remember? I want to be your shoulder to cry on” he reassures me and continue to hold me in a tight hug as the first tears in months continue to fall.
    “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for holding me, thank you for wiping the tears away. Thank you for being my escape from danger and pressure. For being that person I can be with when I no longer felt I could trust people in general.”
    “You’re welcome. You are worth it and really it’s my job, you do stuff for me and I do it for you. Didn’t you know that? I will always be here for you. Did you know that I love you beyond anything else, that I would give my life for you?” Tears begin to swell in my eyes again and I barry my face in his shoulder to muffle my sobs. I feel so bad. Why am I even crying? This is terrible. I need to stop. I need to… I don’t know what I need to do. I want to let it all out, but it’s too much for him. I don’t want to drown him, I don’t want to make him hurt because my pain is deep and almost seems endless. Let’s get out of here already. Take me on another journey away from my house, away from my troubles, the pressures, bruises, and pain. I have needed this moment for so long Kyler and now I am wanting to end it. What is wrong with me? Breathe in, breathe out. Focus on Kylers breathes. Listen to his heart, listen to the way he is staying calm for you. Listen for the way that both of your hearts will sinc. Can you hear it? Of course I can. I am the one pointing them out. I think to myself trying to relax. As my tears dry Kyler, kisses my forehead and I smile at him feeling a little lighter and better.
    “Thank you” is all I can muster into words just to show that I was appreciative of him.
    “Let’s get out of here. You and me. Right now. Us and the playlist. What do you think?”
    “Yes please. I am fine with that.”