The Healer Who Needed Healing

Last Kiss-Pearl Jam

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took his away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

The lyrics pour out of the speakers, I watch him hoping to catch a signal to hug and comfort him but I’m frozen. He hasn’t moved the majority of this song and hasn’t looked at me… I don’t know what to do or if I should say anything. He finally looks at me and I see the tears forming in his eyes, I make a little smile and reach over to his face to wipe the tears away. I wished I could kiss his face but I’m afraid of the outcome. Then the rest of his emotions begin to pour out through his tears.
Kyler I just want to hug you. I don’t know why I am hesitating but I am. I wish to take every bit of pain away from you and set you free of the past because you no longer need to carry this burden of everything. I want to take this load that you, your dad, and everyone else has put on your shoulders so I can lift it for you... Don’t you see I want to carry that for you just so I can take it away? I finally made the decision to unbuckle and get out of the truck and walk around to his side of the truck. As I open the door he scoots over, I jump in and I close the door leaving the warm air to attack the cold air. I wrap my arms around him tightly, to ensure he knows I am wanting to make him feel safe, loved, and cared about; then returning the gesture, he hugs me back.
    We sat there hugging each other for about another minute and thirty seconds, which felt like fifteen to thirty minutes. When he interrupted the song with a whisper I almost didn’t hear what he said, ‘I love you Octavia.’ His hug tightens, making my heart clench and fracture because the way his hugs made me feel a sense of being wanted or needed was quite amazing, which not everyone can do to me in my story.
    ‘I love you too Kyler, forever and always,’ I respond, almost choking on the words. Not sure what to do at the moment, but to let him continue to hug me and cry I say quietly, ‘Kyler, I want you to know that I am always going to be here for you and you can always cry on my shoulder. If I am being totally honest the whole point of this trip is to let all of the emotions out and to just finally let go of the past.’
His breathing begins to level and he becomes more relaxed in my arms making me feel less worried about the words that left my mouth. I couldn’t put words to it… I would be fine with staying in this moment for a while; although, I don’t want Kyler to cry or hurt anymore because it hurts my heart when he is in pain. Just like the time he had told me when I was going through a hard time two weeks ago. I wished I could explain the kind of peace he gives me when I am sitting here hugging him. It feels like my soul is exploding with color and my heart can’t help but be calm when he is holding me close to him. I am so weird. My negative thoughts exclaim interrupting my peaceful sense of mind. You’re acting like he likes you. He’ll never like you! *Mentally smacks forehead*.
After metally slapping myself, I breathe trying not to disturb Kyler making my thoughts go quiet again. My thoughts are like the ripple effect on a pond surface, one thought in my pond makes a small ripple which leads to larger waves and then something makes me drop all of the waves and my pond becomes calm and still all over again. I look at the dash and I realize the song was almost over which made me happy because I wanted Kyler’s pain to end.

Oh, where oh where can my baby be?
The Lord took his away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
Oh, oh

    The song finally ends when he suddenly says, ‘are you ready to go? Thank you for hugging me through that song. I really needed the comfort.’ I could tell he noticed that I was trying not to disturb him so he sits up and looks at me. His eyes were a deep blue and the gold flecks that also made his eyes gorgeous were floating around in the storm that was clearing out.
    ‘I am ready when you are Kyler. We have all day to get to Dallas and besides I don’t want to be driving and you break down again. I don’t want to feel like I can’t do my job to comfort you’ I respond being drawn back into his eyes. They were a slightly green and blue color like the sea right after a storm, in this case the storm was an emotional attack on his island which dumped heavy rain.
    ‘I’m ready, let's not lose any more time on the road’ he says reassuring me with a calm smile. I smile back and scoot towards the door and he makes a noise that he usually makes when he wants to say something but decides against it. I looked over my shoulder at him with my eye-brow arched and my gleaming smile which usually was saying what?
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