Illusions

2.

I looked at the clock as I finished folding the last of me and Lily's clothes. The time was 10:00 p.m.
Lily was already put to bed and I was going to be headed to bed soon too.
It had been a week since I left the house and went to my parent's house. During this week Gio has called me more times than I could count and I declined every single one. I hadn't thought about what I wanted to do about this situation yet. It hurt me that I wasn't good enough. That he resorted to someone who was everything I wasn't. I didn't know whether I wanted a divorce or not.

I hadn't given it much thought. I had kinda just been on autopilot since this all happened. I was so confused and I just wanted answers. Answers that I know would hurt me. Regardless I needed time. Time away from everything which included Gio.

I planned on taking a trip. A trip to where? I hadn't figured that out yet.  I planned on taking Lily with me. I mean ofcourse I would let her talk to her dad or maybe visit him cause I knew this was gonna be a long break.
I heard a knock on the door. My mama peeked her head in "you okay?" She said with concern evident on her caramel skin.
" yes Mama, I'm fine. I just need a break" I said trying to put her at ease.
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7:00 A.M.
I woke up with a start. The same horrible memory playing over and over in my head. A memory I wanted to forget but couldn't. I lifted up my shirt and touched the long scar on my side. It was fully healed now but it still looked horrid.

It was hella hard to explain this to Gio the first time we had sex because he was very concerned. I smiled at the memory. I had gave myself to him. He is still the only man I've ever slept with.
I don't regret that fact even though he turned out to be a cheating bitch. That's okay. At some point he was the charming, caring man that I fell in love with.
I found myself missing him. Everything about him. Everything from the way he walked to the deep dimples in his cheeks when he smiled.
I shook away those thoughts
I needed to clear my head.
Shaking my head I got up and started to get ready for the day.