Sana planned it all again in just a matter of half an hour. 9 patients agreed to go now, Sana writing a afternoon discharge document for all of us. She packed up things for a picnic, one of the nurses helping her and agreeing to come with us to help her keep an eye on all of us. They kept an eye on us, even when they knew that we're not the troubled ones, other than me, but that's trouble for a whole different reason.
After 15 minutes of a refreshing walk, that carried no burden of overthinking, we got to the grassland near the river. That grassland reminds me of Jungkook, mainly because we went there a couple of times with the group in the past, loving the way nature embraced our fragile minds and let us comfortably share the sound of cicadas that perfectly matched the wet tree barks that suffered great rains. I laid down on the grass, feeling my body slightly relax as I looked up to the white sky that had a lot of grey clouds plastered onto it. "You okay?" I heard Sana's gentle voice. I looked to my left and noticed her standing over my side. I sat up as she continued speaking. "Don't you want anything to eat? We've got plenty of food there." She said and pointed to many meters far away from me where half of them sat around in a circle and the other half talked by the tree, eating some food as well. I was isolated all by myself, very close to the river that gave a relaxing background noise to my thoughts. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry." I said and managed to fake a smile. "How are you feeling about-uhm today? Other than with Taehyung-" She spoke as I cut her off, assuming what she wanted to say. "You mean about Jungkook?" I spoke, sounding completely numb. She nodded, carefully observing my facial expression. "It's hard. And this shit happening with Taehyung is not helping." I said and pressed my knees against my chest, trying to calm down. She squatted down to my level and stroked my back. "Dahyun, I'm not going to force you to tell me what happened between you tae yesterday that caused such a mess this morning. Whatever it was, it made Taehyung desperate. You know he didn't plan on to hurt you? You know he didn't even think through what day it is today, right?" She furrowed her eyebrows, feeling bad for the both of us. "I truly hope so." I spoke and sighed, feeling a smaller hand press against my shoulder. It was Minjee. "Let's talk, unnie." She softly spoke, making me break a smile over her sudden caring manners and soft words. "Well, I'm going to leave you girls alone." She said whilst she went back up. "dahyun, if you need anything, I'll be there-" She quickly spoke, but I managed to cut her off with a question before leaving us. "Wait, Sana-" I spoke, immediately catching her attention.
"Do you have a cigarette?" I asked her before she could leave. She gave me a disappointed look alongside Minjee. "Dahyun. Stop smoking." She spoke softly, trying to protect me from myself. "That's hypocritical, Sana." I spoke and raised an eyebrow at her. Minjee nudged my shoulder in a friendly manner, disappointed at the way I called out Sana so easily. Sana shook her head and went through her pockets. She found a pack and pulled one out for me, making me feel at ease. "Thanks." I looked up to her eyes and gently held the cigarette in my palm. After she walked away I slightly flinched upon feeling Minjee bump into me as she sat down to my left. "Dahyun, why-" She started asking questions, but I couldn't bare to hear many questions anymore.
"I'm sorry, kiddo." I spoke up, shutting my eyes tightly. "Just-something really bad happened today. And you do know that today is also two years since Jungkook's death, and I'm just-" I tried to explain but I couldn't find many words that could describe that feeling, so I just kept quiet, letting the sentence swim through the air and the silence. "Yeah, I know." She said and looked down. She leaned against my shoulder and softly sighed. "But, what happened to Taehyung? He looked so happy yesterday." She spoke in a timid tone, making me almost spit everything out, all the frustrated and built up emotion I feel about him. "I don't know, did you talk to him?" I lied, trying to cover up and drag more information out of her. She somehow believed me and started speaking. "A little bit. I didn't want to bother him much. I talked a lot about him with Jimin and Hoseok. They're worried about him for a while now too, I don't know quite why. It makes me think he did something illegal-" She spoke again, but I cut her off as I did not want her to finish her sentence, and because the part where she said she talked to Jimin and Hoseok about him made me feel intrigued. "Wait, what did you talk about with them?" I questioned, turning my head towards her face. "Well, all about Taehyung. He changed a lot. Don't you remember how happy he used to be when he visited Hoseok and Jimin with their other friends?" Minjee spoke in a distant tone, making my eyes widen. She continued speaking, but I had to stop her. I had to confirm I heard it all correctly.
