🌼🌼- Dahyun's POV🌼🌼
I heard a quickened steps as I turned my head to Taehyung. His friend got up and left, his eyes full of tears. Taehyung still sat on his chair, the expression on his face completely cold. After half a minute, he stood up and picked up a spray can and a polaroid picture his friend left, leaving me confused. He hurried down the hallway as I jumped up from the couch to follow him. He went to our opened room, kicking it with his leg to close it once he was inside. I timidly walked there, swallowing a hard lump in my throat. Collecting the courage before knocking, I breathed in and out. I softly knocked on the door. "Taehyung?" I spoke, slowly opening the door. I went inside and closed the door behind me, making the room escape the noise from the hallway. Taehyung held the spray can in his hand, and the polaroid picture in the other. "I don't think those are sanitized, Taehyung." I spoke, trying to break off the mere silence that was followed by my timid posture and his rapid breaths. "It's no point. I can't escape from it. From them. I can't. Why am I trying so hard?" He questioned himself, shutting his eyes over the loudness of his mind.
It made me think that Taehyung enjoyed misery because the feeling of guilt he felt. "Rat, please. Calm down." I softly spoke, walking over to him. I kneeled down and felt powerless because a touch wasn't comforting for him. And all I wanted to do was to hold him and stoke his hair.
"It's okay." I softly spoke, feeling my voice break and my tears water. Taehyung felt pain in his chest as he shut his eyes. He was going through one of his traumatic episodes again. I widened my eyes in shock. "I'll go get the nurses." I spoke in panic. I stood up but Taehyung stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Don't." He said as I gasped at sudden contact. He shut his eyes in a tight line and pulled me onto him, making me straddle his lap. He immediately attacked my lips, pressing soft kisses. I knew exactly right what he was doing in that moment. Kissing me and touching me was a punishment he wanted to put himself through. I immediately picked upon the feeling of guilt he felt and his groans of pain.
Taehyung's hands started stroking my thighs as he deepened the kiss. He started kneading the soft flesh hungrily, enjoying his pain and misery. I quickly moved away from him, standing up. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Don't hurt yourself like this, please Rat." I said, feeling my voice break again. He leaned his head against my stomach as I stood up. His arms were around my hips, not wanting let go of the misery. I felt myself completely breaking, so I moved away. "Stop hurting yourself!" I raised my voice and walked a few steps back.
Taehyung wiped his cheeks that were wet from his tears. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve y-you. I should have been tak-taken away." He stuttered, trying to breathe. "Taken away? Taehyung, what are you talking about? Who was the guy that visited you?" I kneeled down again, trying to look into his eyes.
"A friend of mine. A liar. He didn't do it. He didn't pick up the phone. He let them take me." Taehyung whispered to himself, panically holding his hands over his ears. "Who is them? Who took you?" I softly questioned. "The police." He breathed out. "He didn't-didn't pick up the phone." He repeated in panic. "Taehyung. Why were you arrested? It happened multiple times didn't it?" I questioned, trying to figure it all out. My hand instinctively wanted to cup his cheek but I stopped myself, fighting that caring and affectionate urge. Taehyung spoke, nervously switching the topic after he saw my hand flinch back. "Why do you want to comfort me? How can you touch me? Can't you see how gross I am?!" He breathed out and in a flash got up and started walking around the room, trying to collect his breathing, unsuccessfully.
"Taehyung, tell me what you did. Please. What have you done so bad that ended up being this trauma? Why do you think you're gross?" I softly questioned walking behind his every nervous step. Taehyung kept shutting his eyes as I noticed his hands were shaking. "You're going to run away from me. You will leave me too." Taehyung was now crying, not wanting to tell me. "I'm not going to leave you. Just fucking tell me already, I can't handle this!" I screamed out, feeling miserable. He shook his head, avoiding eye contact. I got so much closer to him and grabbed him by his neck. He quickly moved my hand away as I spoke. "Fucking tell me-!" I raised my voice again, but quietly stood once Taehyung's raspy scream interrupted me.
