my strange addiction

Part 26

'Octavia told me stories about tonight.' Clarke's eyes fluttered open. It was still dark. She rolled over and saw Bellamy next to her. 'What?' Clarke was confused. Her eyes adjusting to the dark. 'About you and Madi.' Clarke rubbed her eyes. She looked at her alarm clock. 4 am. 'Oh.' Clarke says. Her voice is husky as she just woke up. 'You let my daughter stay up?' Bellamy teased. 'Oh shut up. You should've seen her face. It was really cute.' Clarke says. Bellamy chuckles. 'You got played by a nine year old.' Bellamy teases. Clarke playfully hits Bellamy's arm. 'Maybe.' Clarke says. 'You're home late.' Clarke says. 'Yeah I'm really sorry. The emergency turned out to be a big breakthrough. I wanted to go home but Indra wouldn't let me.' Bellamy says. 'It's okay. Madi and I had fun.' Clarke says. 'Without me?' 'Yes without you.' Clarke teased. 'It's fine this time, but next time? Oh you're gonna pay for it next time.' Bellamy says. 'Am I?' Clarke asked. Clarke giggled when Bellamy kissed her cheek.

It was saturday today. Every saturday morning Bellamy would wake up early like he always does and make breakfast for Clarke and Madi. They agreed to spend the weekends at Clarke's house and Bellamy and Madi would go back to Bellamy's house during the week. Madi's school is closer to Bellamy's house. Bellamy and Clarke were serious but not moving in with each other serious yet.

'Clarke can you braid my hair please?' Madi asks. 'Sure.' Clarke says. 'Hey I always braid your hair.' Bellamy says. 'I love you, but you suck at braiding my hair.' Madi says.

Clarke chuckles. Madi sat down on a chair and Clarke stood behind her braiding her hair.

'Madi is going to see her friend today.' Bellamy says.

'Well have fun,' Clarke says.

Clarke finished braiding Madi's hair. The little girl stood up and went to her room. It used to be a guest room but when Bellamy asked Clarke if she wanted to meet Madi she cleared the room for Madi. Clarke really loved the girl from the moment she met her.

'That means we'll be alone,' Bellamy says.

'Well what did you have in mind?' Clarke asks.

Bellamy noticed that Clarke seemed distracted. He lifted Clarke's chin so her eyes were meeting his. He noticed they were watery.

'What's going on?' he asked.

'Nothing,' she said.

'Please tell me what's going on. You can talk to me,' he said.

'I know I can,'

'Then tell me,'

'I can't,'

Her eyes drifted off to the kitchen. He tightened her grip on her to stop her from leaving.

'Talk to me Clarke,' he says.

'I can't. I'm sorry,' she says.

'Lexa?' he asks.

Clarke looks back up. He wasn't supposed to find out. He wasn't supposed to know.

'What how?' Clarke asks. She is confused. She doesn't know how he knew this. She didn't want him to know anything about Lexa. He knew Lexa and that was enough for her. Everyone always judged her for trusting Lexa and somehow after it happened she still trusted Lexa. She thought the brunette would come back for her. Or to her. That they were going to be happy, but she didn't. The brunette never came back. They were never going to be happy so she moved on. She never saw Lexa again after it happened. She probably moved away from her. To avoid her. For a while Clarke kept the few belongings Lexa had in her own house, but she knew if she wanted to move on she had to get rid of every single thing that reminded her of her.

'It's been two full years today.' he says.

'Oh you remember?' she asks.

'I was there.' he says.

Clarke didn't remember him being there. She didn't remember much from that night. She remembered the pain and the tears. The words. Not who were around her.

'Well I was there when we found you,'

'Oh right,' she cut Bellamy off. She didn't want to hear it

again. She didn't want to hear stories about that night or

about Lexa at all. She knew she couldn't avoid it forever, but she's been doing it for two years and might as well not stop now.

'I can go to my own apartment if you want to be alone today,' Bellamy says.

'No it's fine,' she says.

Clarke was in the kitchen preparing snacks for the movie they were going to watch. Bellamy did a pretty good job trying to cheer her up. Bellamy saw a silhouette through the window.

'I think there's someone at the door,' he says.

'Can you get it?' she asks.

Bellamy gets up from the couch and opens the door.

Clarke kept preparing the snacks until she realized the door didn't close again. It's been a while since it opened. Clarke starts to get a little nervous. She puts everything down. Wipes her hands clean and walks to the hallway. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees who's at the door.

'Lexa?'