my strange addiction

Part 29

'Clarke,' she heard the soft and fragile voice behind her. Lexa had left. Again. 'Why is dad mad?' her innocent voice broke Clarke. She didn't want this. She was living happily without the brunette. She had Madi and Bellamy.

'Someone who we knew a long time ago just came back,' Clarke says. She smiles to cheer up the small girl. 'Then why is he mad at you?' Madi asks.

'I didn't know he is mad at me,' Clarke says. 'I'll go check on him.'

'Heard you're mad at me,' Clarke says. She sits down besides Bellamy. She places a hand on his back. She rests her head on his shoulder.

'I'm mad at her,' Bellamy says.

'I know,' Clarke says. 'Me too.'

'She can't just come back after everything she did,' Bellamy says. 'And I can't lose you,' he says.

'You won't,' Clarke says.

'You say that now but I know how much you love her,' he says.

'Loved,' Clarke says. It's only partially a lie. Sure she's mad at Lexa right now but she has a feeling there's more behind it. Why would she show up now? Why wasn't she here when it was exactly one year. 'I love you,' Clarke says. Clarke's hand goes up to his shoulder. He places his hand on top of hers.

'Dad? Clarke? Are you two okay?' Madi asks. Clarke chuckles. She pulls the little girl closer to them.

'Of course we are sweetie,' she says.

'I love you Clarke, you can't leave,' Madi says. Clarke pulls the little girl even closer to her chest.

'Who said I was leaving. I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here with you two,' she says. She kisses the top of Madi's head.

'Mom said that too,' Madi says.

'Your mom didn't leave. She's living on through you,' Clarke says.

'That was really beautiful. You know what you told Madi,' Bellamy says.

'My dad taught me that,' she says.

'If I leave would you take care of her?' he says.

Clarke looked him in the eye. She saw a single tear in the corner of his eye.

'Are you leaving?' Clarke asks. Her voice sounds a bit harsher than she wanted to.

'No of course not,' he says.

'Why would you say something like that,' Clarke shouts.

'Clarke just answer the question,' he says.

'Bellamy you can't leave. You can't leave your daughter!' Clarke shouts. She grabs his arm.

'What if I have to,' he says.

'Then you fix whatever the fuck is going on you don't leave your daughter!' Clarke shouts.

'Keep your voice down. Madi is asleep,' he says.

'Yeah and you're about to abandon her,' she says.

'Clarke I don't expect you to understand. I just want to know if you'll take care of her,' he says.

'She's lost a parent before you can't leave her,' she says.

'Just take care of her for me,' he says.

'You can't leave,' Clarke says.

'I'm sorry,' Bellamy says.

He pulls Clarke close and tears roll over his face onto her blonde hair. Clarke couldn't hold back tears anymore.

'I love you. You can't leave,' Clarke says.

'We both know you don't love me like that,' he says.

'That's not true. I told you that,' she says.

The next morning Clarke woke up. Madi was curled up besides her. Her arm tightly wrapped around the little girl. She turned around. When she went to sleep Bellamy was there now there's just a cold spot. Clarke sits up. She looks around the room. Everything seems the same. The pile of unwashed clothes on her chair. The lamp on her bedside table. The closet filled with her clothes. Clarke sleepily walks to the kitchen. She makes herself a cup of coffee. She only notices the note on the table when she's going back to the bedroom to wake Madi.

"I'm sorry Clarke, it's not your fault. Just take care of my little girl please. I left money in the closet for you. Use whatever you need. There's a bank account for Madi's college money. I don't know if I'll come back. Just remember that I love you. Tell Madi I love her. And again I'm sorry Clarke."

'Where's dad?' Clarke didn't notice Madi was in the kitchen. She looked over her shoulder. She saw the girl with a sad look on her face.

'I don't know.' Clarke says.

Madi runs towards her and buries herself in Clarke's body.

'It happened didn't it?' she asked.

'What do you mean?' Clarke asked.

'He always told me he might not be there when I grow up,' she says.

Clarke's heart shattered into a million pieces.

'I'm so sorry Madi,' she says.

'It's not your fault Clarke,' Madi paused for a moment which made Clarke frown. 'And I understand if you can't let me stay,'

'Madi no. I will take care of you. You're gonna stay here with me. We can do this,' Clarke says.

A few tears rolled over the girl's cheeks.

'Come here,' Clarke knelt down to match Madi's eye level. She wrapped her arms tightly around the girl. 'We'll be okay,' she says.