my strange addiction

Part 30

Clarke stormed into Octavia's apartment. She had dropped Madi off at school before coming here. 'Octavia where are you!' Clarke shouts.

'Kitchen,' Octavia says.

'Where's your brother?' Clarke asks.

'I don't know why?' Octavia says. 'Isn't he at your place during weekends? she asks.

'Yeah but he left me with his daughter,' Clarke says.

'You've babysitted her before you can do this,' Octavia says.

'No you don't understand,' Clarke says. 'He left permanently and left his daughter with me,' she says. Octavia turns to face Clarke.

'What do you mean he left permanently?' Octavia asks. She still doesn't understand what Clarke is talking about. Clarke hands her the note Bellamy left for her. 'I found this in my kitchen the morning after he asked me if I'd take care of Madi if he'd leave,' Clarke says. Octavia read the note and frowned.

'Maybe it's a joke,' Octavia says.

'I know Bellamy can be a bit immature but this is definitely not a joke,' Clarke says. Octavia gently places the note on the table.

'He told me he couldn't lose me and now I'm the one losing him,' Clarke says. Tears flood her face. Octavia pulled her in close and Clarke sank into the woman's body.

'I can't do it on my own O,' she says.

'You love Madi and she loves you. You two will be fine,' Octavia says. 'Besides Raven and I can help you if you want,' she says.

'I'll have to stop working on the taskforce so I can be at home more often,' she says.

'Clarke you don't have to do that. You can bring her here if you have to work,' Octavia says.

'No I have to. I'm all she has left,' Clarke says.

'Are you sure agent Griffin?' Indra asked.

'I don't like it either but I have to, okay,' Clarke says.

'Did you like leading the taskforce?' Indra asks.

'Yes I loved to do it,' Clarke says.

'Could you continue doing it for a week?' Indra asks.

'Well I have Madi now. I want to be there for her,' Clarke says.

'You can lead your old team in a week or so,' Indra says.

'I don't understand,' Clarke says.

'Well Bellamy led that team and he's gone so you could take over, but we can only do that when he's missing for a week,' Indra says.

'Oh yeah,' Clarke says.

She didn't like that she'd take Bellamy's old job but she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't just go back to being a normal agent and she couldn't continue leading a task force because you don't work regular hours on it. If Bellamy could make it work then she could too.

Clarke was driving home from the office. She took the day off. Everything was too much for her right now. Lexa being back in town which she hadn't really thought of until she saw her in the grocery store. Bellamy leaving. She had to take care of a child now. On her own. She loved Madi but this was a big step in her life. She searched for her keys in her purse. She opened the door.

'Hi,' a woman's voice said. Clarke jumped and dropped her keys.

'Lexa?' Clarke asked. 'What are you doing here?' she asked.

'I wanted to talk to you,' Lexa said. Clarke was too tired to fight Lexa, but she tried anyway.

'So you just break into my house,' Clarke says in a defensive tone. Right after that she yawns.

'I'm sorry. I just remembered you keep a spare key under the pot of your favorite plant and it was getting cold,' she says.

'That doesn't mean you can break into my house,' Clarke says.

'I know it won't happen again,' Lexa says.

'Just go please,' Clarke says. Lexa stepped closer to Clarke and laid a hand on her arm.

'Don't touch me Lexa,' she says.

'I need to explain,' Lexa says. She takes a step back realizing they aren't what they were before and it won't be for a while.

'What's there to explain. You tried to kill me. You failed. You came back and I'm still here. Moved on,' Clarke says. Lexa closes her eyes to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. Those last words hurt. Lexa never moved on from Clarke. She couldn't. Clarke didn't move on from the brunette either, but she couldn't tell her that. She couldn't give Lexa what she wanted after she took everything from Clarke.