my strange addiction

Part 32

// death

'It's been a month since he died,' Anya said.

'Since you killed him,' Lincoln said. Anya glared at him. She knew her brother was joking but it still annoyed her.

'Go see Clarke,' Anya said.

'I can't just walk back into her life!' Lexa shouts. Anya took a step closer to her sister. The light in her once green bright eyes had faded since Titus got out of jail. Leaving Clarke is her deepest regret.

'I should've never left her. She could've helped,' Lexa said.

'Tell her that,' Anya said. The news was on in the background. Lexa was about to turn the tv off when a new topic came on.

"Agent Bellamy Blake found dead after months of disappearance." Lexa stood up from the couch.

'Clarke,' Lexa whispered. It was more of a gasp than a whisper. She ran out of the house and without realizing her feet brought her to Clarke's house.

Clarke dropped her phone. She was talking to her mom about her new job. "Clarke, Clarke, Clarke what's going on?" Clarke stood there in her living room motionless. He died. He never told her where he went. He said he would never leave and now he's dead. Bellamy, the person that loved her after Lexa broke her completely died. Her best friend died. Madi's father died. She built up a mother daughter relationship with the girl. She didn't know how to tell her. The person who always had hope for him to come back lost him. She felt sadness but also anger. If he would've just stayed here his daughter would be okay. His daughter would have his dad. His daughter wouldn't be an orphan. Madi's mom died years ago and now she lost her father too. Clarke realized she was the only person close to a parent left in her life. And that was what broke her. It should've been that her boyfriend died, but she cares more about the girl. The girl without parents.

'Clarke?' The voice. The softness in her voice. Clarke couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She tried to stop it for Madi's sake.

'I heard.' Is all what the girl said. The little girl comforted Clarke. She should be the one comforting the girl.

A knock on the door snapped Clarke out of her thoughts. She looked out the window and saw Lexa. She didn't know what to do. Lexa didn't visit her for months and now she's back? Clarke slowly walked towards the door. Taking a deep breath as she stood in front of the door. She laid her hand on the handle and finally opened the door.

'I heard,' Lexa whispered. She brought flowers. She couldn't find anything better on the way here. She knew she shouldn't but she let herself fall into Lexa's arms. She shouldn't because Lexa would leave her again. She shouldn't because she knew Lexa had a plan. A plan to ruin her again. Lexa did have a plan but it wasn't about ruining Clarke. It did involve her leaving Clarke for one last time.

Two weeks later. Clarke started to believe she was wrong. Lexa had shown up every day to check up on her. Maybe after this is all over she would disappear again but she wanted to spend as much time with Lexa as she could.

'You're still here,' Clarke said with tears in her eyes.

'I am,' Lexa said.

'What changed?' Clarke asked.

'My father,' Lexa said.

'So you think he just changed. Out of nowhere and he won't hurt you again,' Clarke said sarcastically.

'No,' Lexa said coldly. She stood up and adjusted Clarke's dress.

'Then what Lexa! Talk to me,' Clarke said.

'He's dead,' Lexa said. She looked away from her own reflection.

'Did you,' Clarke didn't dare to finish her sentence. Lexa made her a promise.

'No,' Lexa said. 'My sister killed him.'

'I'm sorry,' Clarke whispered.

'I'm not,' Lexa said.

'No I mean,' Clarke paused and took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry for assuming you killed him.' Lexa nodded. She left the room.

'Where are you going?' Clarke called after her.

'You have a funeral,' Lexa said.

'Aren't you coming?' Clarke asked. Lexa entered the room again.

'I barely knew him,' Lexa said coldly. 'And I don't want you to be a victim of gossip,' she added. Clarke chuckled. 'Everyone already knows I didn't love him like I love you.' She didn't realize what she said until Lexa looked her in the eyes. 'Shit I didn't mean to,' Clarke started. Suddenly she felt hands around her waist. Clarke leaned in but Lexa pulled back.

'Not today Clarke,' she said. Lexa squeezed her waist a little tighter and then left.

'If you want you can come over after the funeral,' Lexa said. Clarke didn't have the time to respond. The brunette was already gone.