my strange addiction

Part 28

(flashback)

'Lexa why are you dressed like that?' Clarke chuckled. The brunette was wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants. Clarke had no idea what was going on. She knew Lexa had been a little distant lately but she thought that had to do with the release of her father. She wasn't home more often. She told the blonde she was working more. Clarke thought it was her way of coping with his release. It was at first. Until Titus approached the brunette. Telling her lies to get her back in. At first it didn't work but then he started using Clarke against her. Clarke was all Lexa had and she couldn't lose her so she accepted his offer not knowing she would lose Clarke anyway. She really thought her plan would work out. She would do a couple of jobs and then disappear for a week or two and come back to her normal life. She would ask Clarke to come with her. It seemed like a great plan to her. Sadly it didn't work out as planned. The jobs started small like stealing a couple of things. She thought he just needed the things, but he was building something bigger. He had crazy plans. Apparently jail made him go crazy. He wanted to infiltrate most agencies to take over when the time was right. Lexa thought this would never work so she let him. Hoping he would get caught and she could be with Clarke again. Titus had other plans for her and Clarke. Clarke was a problem to him. She could notice Lexa's behavior. She could tell people inside the FBI and that would mean his plan would fail. He needed to get rid of Clarke and used Lexa to do it. He stayed in the shadows. Every step he made was tracked by the FBI. He didn't have to get rid of that. He never did the dirty job himself. He used his children to do it. Or his children's girlfriends and boyfriends. Costia was the first he won for him, but Lexa gave him everything he wanted by saving her. Costia would end up dead anyway and that's what Titus knew. Once Nia found out Costia worked for Titus even for the shortest time she'd be dead. Titus is quite smart but no one sees it. Not even Lexa. He told Lexa he'd make her death slow and painful if Lexa didn't kill Clarke herself. Lexa couldn't bear knowing that. So she took the gun her father handed her that day in his house somewhere dark and hidden in New York.

Lexa was glad she got to hear the blonde's laugh one more time. It made her cry a bit. Clarke saw the tears in Lexa's eyes. She came closer. She cupped the brunette's face. 'Are you okay Lex?' She asked. Lexa nodded. Clarke smiled and her hand travelled down her body. Stopping at her hip. She felt something. Something strange. Something that wasn't supposed to be there. Clarke gave Lexa a strange look when she pushed Clarke away from her. Then she felt a cold object against her stomach. The night they met at the club flashing before her eyes. 'I'm so sorry Clarke,' Lexa cries as she pulls the trigger and puts two bullets in her stomach. Clarke looks at her and the look in her eyes breaks Lexa's heart in a thousand pieces. 'I'm so so sorry.' Lexa gently lays Clarke down on the grass in her front yard. Blood is ruining her shirt. Lexa's shirt. She was wearing Lexa's shirt. Lexa placed one last kiss on Clarke's already cold lips and then disappeared in the darkness of the night. She never wanted to come back to this city. She wiped the gun clean and ditched it in the streets of New York. Climbing up the hidden stairs. Entering her father's house through the window. Her head hung low as she entered the room. 'Did you do it?' Titus asked. 'Yes,' Lexa said.

'Good,' Titus turned her back on her. He knew his daughter needed comfort right now but he couldn't give it to her. He needed her to be strong, but he also needed to make sure she didn't hate him. So he turned around and pulled Lexa close. Lexa pushed him away. 'Oh screw you,' she said. 'You made me kill her!' Lexa shouts. Tears streamed down her face.

Lexa didn't leave her room for days. Titus had tried to come in a few times but he stopped trying. He needed to continue with his plan to take over the country. Lexa had gotten kinda hungry. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want anything. She wanted Clarke back. She wanted her life back. She shouldn't have underestimated her father. This is one of her biggest mistakes. Suddenly she heard a knock on the window. She hoped it was Clarke to come save her but she knew it wasn't her. Clarke was dead and it was her fault. 'Come on let's go,' Anya said.

'Are you coming or not?' Any asked. She noticed she got a little impatient. 'Titus can't see me. Let's go,' Anya said. Lexa still didn't move. 'What the fuck Lexa,' Anya said. 'It's my fault and now I have to stop him,' Lexa said.