The New Boy

Chapter eighteen

(The picture is 25 week ultrasound)

"Stop stalling and tell us," Gemma begs.

"We aren't stalling," Jake says and smiles at me.

"How is she?" Gavin asks. I lean into Jake and he puts his arms over my shoulders.

"Perfectly fine," I say back and smile, placing my hand on what is now a lump in my stomach.

"Have you guys thought of names yet?" Gemma asks and I look back at Jake. He shakes his head and so do I.

"Actually no, it's sort of been the least of our worries." Jake says and I nod.

We found out two weeks ago that it was going to be a girl. When we told the family, Gemma, Anthony, and Gavin, they were pretty happy that they were going to be aunts and uncles. Anthony doesn't fully understand, but he gets the point.

When I got around five months, I ended up dropping out of school. Mainly because it started to get noticeable and it was hell at school. Jake still goes so he can get some form of education. Plus, he only has one more year of school. Right now, it's July 10th, so school has ended for summer already. Our due date is September 21.

"Do you want to think about it now?" Chris asks and sits in the bar stool thing they have in the kitchen.

"I guess so," I say back and Jake nods.

Everyone raffles off names: Caroline, Tracey, Randa, Cheryl, Alexis, Lindsey, Jen, Kayla, Jessica, etc. We narrowed it down to a few: Emily, Elizabeth, and Alyssa.

I look back at Jake, I personally like the name Emily, I don't know why.

"What do you think?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"I kind of like Emily," Jake says back to me and I smile.

"Me too," I say and he smiles at me.

"So baby Emily?" Gemma asks and I nod.

"Baby Emily." I say back and she smiles. Jake lightly kisses my cheek and I lean back on him.

"Has it been a year yet?" Gavin asks and I look at him.

"What?" I ask.

"Since you two have known each other." he says and I shake my head.

"Next month," I say and he nods.

I feel Emily move in my stomach. I take Jakes hand and place it on my stomach. She shuffles around a bit and I put my hand on his.

"Feel it?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah," he says back and I smile. He leaves his hand on my stomach.

"Only a few more months," I say quietly and he nods.

"I can't wait to be a aunt," Gemma says and smiles. Gemma is really excited about the baby, if you couldn't already tell.

Jakes family has treated me a real family, it's pretty awesome actually. I've never had the real sensation of feeling like you have people caring about you. The same thing with Jake alone, it's amazing to know that he really loves me and realy cares for me and about me. Not even my parents could do that.

My mom would try her best to protect me, she would care for me and tell me it's going to be alright. I have Jake now for that. Someone to tell me that they love me and that they will do anything in their power to protect me. I don't have any family that I know of except for my parents.

I used to have an older sister, she was about six years older than me. When I was ten, I found her in her room dead. She had killed herself after her and my dad started fighting. He called her worthless, a mistake.

She wrote a note to us that I still have in my room. It just explains to me and my mom that she loves us and that she couldn't take life anymore. There is a part for me, telling me to hold on and that she hopes that I will never end up like her. It also says things to me like she wants me and 'mommy' at be happy. She felt like all of this was because of her. She said in the note that she doesn't want me to cry over her and that she is happy now.

I also have her necklace in my room with the note. I've never really told Jake about it. Not that I'm hiding it from him, but it's a really sore topic for me and I don't like to talk about it.

I start to think about my past like I do often. I think about how many times I got blammed for my sisters death. I know that it wasn't me, even in the note, it says it was becasue of our dad. My mom used to tell me that he blames me for it becasue he can't except that fact that it was becasue of him.

I never understood my dad and why he always felt the need to make me feel worse about myself. They knew about my self harmming, my depression, my axitey. He didn't care, my mom didn't have much time to worry about me, she too busy pampering my dad.

"You okay?" Jake asks and lightly shakes my shoulder. I snap out of my thoughts and look at him.

"Yeah," I say back and sigh a little. "I'm fine,"

"Are you sure?" he asks again and I nod.

"I'm good," I asks back and he nods. I don't know if I'm 'Fine' right now, but I can now tell myself that I'll be okay.

I hear someone knock on their door. I look at it and a guy walks in. He's a sort off a big guy like Chris so I'm figuring it's someone they work with. He doesn't really pay attention to us in the living room, just to Chris in the kitchen.

"I droped off the welder," he says and turns to us. Jake gives him a small wave. "And I take it you're Jamie," he says to me and I smile at him and nod.

"Hey Mike," Gavin says and turns to him.

"Aye," Mike says back to him and lightly hits his head. "I've heard a lot about you," he says to me and I nod. "Good things though," he says and laughs a bit. I do too and Jake leaves his arms around me. "You were right Jake," Mike says to Jake and Jake looks at him.

"About what?"he asks and Mike looks at me again.

"She is beautiful," Mike says back I smile a little and Jake rubs my shoulder a bit.

"I know," Jake says back and Mike smiles back at me.