The New Boy

Chapter sixteen

Have you ever had the feeling of true fear? It's like a wave of this chilling, hot, just horrible feeling. You can barely breathe and you're just stunned. It doesn't even have to be something physical like you're about to get the shit beat out of you or you see a muder or something you shouldn't have seen.

There are other.. let's say kinds of fear. Like opening your report card and seeing that you're failing every class. Or reading the break-up text from your girlfriend or boyfriend when you thought things were going so well. Maybe even hearing the door slam after your parents have been fighting and you just know they are gone for good.

It could also be for something so simple as your dog's vet telling you your dog is very ill. There are so many different types or kinds of fear.

The kind of fear I'm going through right now is sitting in the corner of my bathroom, grasping a pregnancy test that I do almost every month just to make sure.

The only thing I can focus on is the little plus symbol that is displayed across the white stick. My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my throat. My arm trembles along with the rest of my body.

You're only seventeen. You've only known him for six months now. You can't afford a baby. What if he leave you? You'll be alone. No, no this isn't true. Maybe the test is wrong, yeah. No, that's not true and you know that. This is the third one you've taken today and all the results have been the same. You have to tell him. But how will you? What about school? You can't go to school with a baby at home. You can't go to school pregnant either. You're already bullied enough.

"You okay? You've been in there for like a half hour." I hear Jake's voice through the door and he knocks lightly. I can't even force the words 'no' out of my mouth. I'm not even paying attention to the tears falling harshly down my face then down my neck. "Jamie?" he asks again and opens the door.

I shake my head a little and I don't look up at him. He slides down the wall next to me and I glance at him from the corner of my eye. He doesn't pay attention to the test in my hand but more to me crying. "Baby what's worng?" he asks and I just shake my head again, waiting for him to notice what's in my hands. "Jami-" he says but stops. I guess he does notices it and I drop it from my hands.

Jake stays quiet and the whole room fills with silence while I try to settle myself down.

"I'm pregnant." I finally get the words out of my mouth.

"Are-are you sure?" he asks and I nod. I look down and shake my head once more, trying to get the thoughts out of my head.

"This can't be happening, it can't." I mutter quietly to myself but no matter how quietly I speak it's almost impossible for Jake not to hear it since it is so quiet in my house. I don't hear anything from Jake so we both just sort of sit in the coner of the empty house and stay in shock.

I'm honesly not even worried about the fact that I'm pregnant like that I have a baby inside of me. I'm just so worried about how we will raise it. We are going to need doctor appointments too which costs a lot.

I feel him put his arms around me and I hug him back, putting my face in his chest. It's amazing how safe I feel with him.

"It's okay," his soft voice says quietly. Both of us stay holding each other without moving. After about ten minutes of staying like this, I pull away. I look at him and he wipe the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs.

Just by looking at him I can tell his is scared too. I don't know what it is, but I can tell. He gives me a slight smile. It's not a really 'yay' smile, it's more of a 'I'm scared as fuck but I want to let you know I'm here' smile.

"You're not going to leave me now right?" I ask and we both keep looking at each other.

"Of course not," he says back and I let out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly back and he puts his hand on my thigh.

"Why are you sorry?" he asks and I shrug.

"I don't even know right now," I say back and I still have that intence feeling throughout my body.

"Exactly," Jake says back and I look down a little more.

"What are we going to do?" I ask and he shrugs a bit.

"I could lie to you and tell you I know what we are going to do, but truth is, I have no idea." he says back and he lifts up my chin so I look at him. "But we will be okay," he says and he lightly kisses me. I kiss him back and smile. "There's that smile." he says and I hug him again. I take a deep breathe and try my best not to worry about it.

"Do you think I should get a job?" I ask and he shrugs.

"I don't know yet, I'll talk to my dad about it." he says back and I nod.

"Do you think he will be mad at you?" I ask and shakes his head.

"Not when he was a father at fourteen." he says back and I nod.
"I can't believe there is a baby inside there," he says quietly and lightly places his hand on my stomach.

"I know," I say and I put my hand on his. He smiles and so do I.