ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐬

026. evan

The outside thermostat read 37 degrees fahrenheit, which wasn't that cold for early winter, but Evan trembled anyway. He let out a shaky laugh.

"2.7 degrees celsius," Evan—out of habit—translated quietly. He shook his head and then met it with a mild slap. "No, d'ugh—don't—don't do that. Weirdo. Stupid."

For the third time, Evan turned away from the wall and focused on walking up the stairs. He forced his hands from the hem of his shirt and brought them to each other in a feeble attempt to stop them from twisting the fabric, only to let them meet each other and fumble with their own fingers.

Sometimes Evan wished he lived in a one-story house so he didn't have to go up and down the stairs whenever he paced. He paced a lot.

It had been an entire hour since he had figured it out. Well, maybe it wasn't true. Evan could be wrong for all he knew! He could... he... It was official: Evan was a terrible persuader.

Evan stopped by the little table in the upstairs hallway where a little plant resided.

"Epipremnum aureum," Evan identified, this time not bothering to discipline himself. Now making his way to his room, Evan hummed an off-key tune to distract himself.

Just don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't—fuck, he thought about it.

He made it to his bedroom door frame, immediately noticing his cell phone lying face-up on his desk (he had made a point to ignore it and had inevitably failed to follow through with his own plan). Evan stood over it and took a deep breath. He hesitated just before his fingertips could brush against his phone, then continued. Thanks to a manufacturing design, the screen automatically turned on when he picked up the device. Evan's stomach grew sicker at the sight of the unread message from... him. Just thinking his name made Evan feel sick.

He exhaled after a too-long inhale, choosing to ignore his problems by weakly attempting (and failing) to pretend they didn't exist, when his phone buzzed in his hand. Evan let out a high-pitched yelp, dropping his phone and letting it fall to the ground with a clatter.

With accelerated breathing, Evan slowly backed away from his desk, consequently bumping into his bed behind him and falling back onto his bed.

"Don't think about it!" Evan hissed to himself. "Just—just..."

What if Connor had figured out his identity? Evan choked on his own gasp as another possibility was born in his head. What if he wanted to beat him up? What if he... Evan's heart sank.

What if he wanted to stop being friends?

"You have to stop this," Evan whispered. He extended his arm, slowly reaching out towards his phone. "It was all so good. Don't... let go of the good."

Another buzz.

"I can't!" Evan cried. He fell back onto his bed, whimpering. He brought his hands to his face, wiping any tears that dared to form. Here we go.

Without warning, he forced his body to jerk upright and his hand to snatch the phone from off the floor. Evan laughed weakly, feeling his restlessness temporarily fade away from the sudden movement.

Turn it over! Look at the notifications!

And sitting above Connor's message notification was...

koolaidkleinman

did you do the trig hw? can you send it?

Evan sighed in relief and opened it.

Evan.Hansen

Yeah, I did.