ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐬

016. evan

Evan.Hansen
Hi
I don't mean to bother you, but I just wanna talk to someone.
Idk sorry you're probably busy.

c.murphreak
no
let's talk

Evan.Hansen
Oh
Uhh okay

Evan watched Connor type and erase... type and erase... type and erase... The little dots bobbed up and down on the corner of the screen. Eventually, they disappeared. It dawned on Evan that Connor didn't quite know what to say. He swallowed.

Evan.Hansen
How was your day?

Evan reached his good arm up to slap his forehead. Stupid! They literally just spoke about that a few hours ago. Why did Evan have to be so dry?

c.murphreak
honestly
it was okay up until now

His ears becoming hot with embarrassment, Evan felt his heart sink.

Evan.Hansen
Oh
I'm sorry for bothering you
I'll leave you alone then

c.murphreak
wait
noo that's not what i meant
i meant my shitty parets
parents*

Evan.Hansen
Oh...
Are you okay?

c.murphreak
honestly
haven't been for a while

Evan.Hansen
I'm sorry

c.murphreak
when will you stop being sorry for things that aren't your fault lmao

Evan.Hansen
Sorry just a habit

c.murphreak
ah

Evan.Hansen
Umm
Do you want to talk about it?

c.murphreak
idk

Evan.Hansen
I know you hardly know me but I'll listen.

c.murphreak
oh
thanks
i don't think i wanna talk to someone about it tho

Evan.Hansen
Okay.

Evan rapidly smacked his cheek in a gentle way that it didn't hurt. It was a thing he did in the privacy of his home when he felt a bit uneasy. In public, it was safer to bounce his leg—not like he could help it.

Don't be silly. He's not obligated to tell you anything.

Or maybe he just hates you.

No, he just—wait, he said something.

c.murphreak
i'm just gonna get high
goodnight

Evan.Hansen
Goodnight.

Seen

Evan didn't really want to say "Goodnight." He wanted to tell Connor to please don't go. He didn't feel good. He needed someone to fill the silence with. Evan didn't know how to explain what emotion this was, but it was a soggy, shaky feeling mixed with... How do you describe "I-want-to-cry-but-no-tears-are-coming-out?"