ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐬

006. connor

c.murphreak
hey

Evan.Hansen
Oh my God
I'm sorry I don't know what to say

Connor watched as the three little dots bounced in the bottom left corner of the screen. This person was obviously struggling with their words. Of course—what do you say to someone who almost killed himself two minutes ago? Connor's face was hard, the emotion dead in his eyes.

The dots disappeared; the stranger paused. Then, the typing started again, and they quickly sent their message.

Evan.Hansen
Are you okay?
I mean obviously not but I'm glad you didn't...
You know

c.murphreak
kill myself

Evan.Hansen
Yes
Sorry

c.murphreak
why

Evan.Hansen
I don't know

c.murphreak
k

Evan.Hansen
You can talk to me
I mean if you want
You don't need to tell me anything because it's weird to tell someone you don't know your problems
Not that you have problems
I mean you probably do because of what you almost did
Sorry never mind sorry
Forget I said anything

c.murphreak
stop deleting texts its annoying

Evan.Hansen
Sorry

c.murphreak
jfc
look
why do you even care if some dude kills himself
you dont
stop pretending that you care and leave me tf alone
its not your place to help every random angsty person the internet
bc you cant

Three little dots began to bounce on the screen.

csphreak
and stop saying sorry

Seen

Connor waited for the three dots to appear on the screen again. They didn't.

He knew that no one actually cared if you said you were going to off yourself—they only wanted the pleasure and self-righteousness of "saving" someone. Although he wouldn't ever admit it to himself, Connor was almost disappointed that the stranger didn't try to argue that they did care. Almost. Maybe he'd wanted the stranger to care.

Another thing Connor knew was people don't always get what they want. Connor never did. The stranger didn't care. The world didn't care. His parents didn't care. Zoe... Zoe didn't care.

Connor wanted to have faith in the world, but he couldn't. Not when the world didn't give him any reason to.

Yet, despite having no faith, Connor took one last glance at the pill bottle and tucked it back into the bottom of his sock drawer.

—

jared, eating: cronchcronchcr

connor, annoyed: hey jared

connor: do you think you could crunch any louder

jared:

jared: *leans in*

jared: crONCH